Oh baby baby

Right now. Right this second. Right at this very moment in time. I am the happiest motherfucker on the planet. Yes sir-ee, I sure fucking am :D
And you know what the best part of that is? I'm not being sarcastic!

Oh man, this is great.

Ok, I'll first of all point you to darkblade's journal: evilpete, he'll explain the jist of it.
Now I'll add in my bits.
He talks of a physical relationship. That was me.
Yes I'm a bastard I'm sorry to say, I went to Leeds and had a fling with Spinkychan (more on her later).
It was a summer romance that I thought was the real thing. Turned out to be more like a dick in the ass.
She tried her shit on with me, some stuff happend but really...not a lot. (as of that point and beyond I was still a virgin).
Now after that, all Spinky did was sort of Jib me off and treat me like shit. Now that I think about it, it was probably because she wasn't able to get jiggy with me (I may have  been a bastard, but I did have SOME limits) That really hurt me. At the time I genuinely loved her.
Oh well.
Now the reason I didn't tell Sam (Darkblade) was becasue I really didn't want to hurt him. Also Kay asked me not to, becasue she supposedly loved him and all that and didn't want to break up with him. Tch. That turned out to be bullshit as we found out. I'm guessing she picked sam over me at that time becasue she could fuck him or something.

But anyway, skip forward to a few days ago. Kay breaks up with Sam, I tell sam everything I know about me and her. He's none too happy, and I don't blame him.
Now all this brings back some memories and such from Leeds and what not, and I get to tihkning I wanted those good times back, so I figure "I know! I still have spinky's password (lovers trust eachother blindly), I'll go see if there's any emails that reveal why she's been so off lately (with the not talking to anyone and such).

And low and behold I find all these emails from a clan mate of Darkblades.
I didn't know it was a clan mate until I noticed the "Ding Dong" bit. I remember Spinky talking about him lots. How convenient.
Turns out "Ding Dong" was like a code phrase for "you're making me horny, Kay" or something like that.

Then I skip back a bit more and find lots more sorded emails form another (most likely former) friend of Sams. This was not good.

Despite the fact that Sam told me to never speak to him again, I had to tell him this, he deserved to know the truth, just like I did.
And so I told him.

And that's where the post before my previous post originates.

Not long after, about an hour or so I'd say, I get a phone call.
From Kay.
Oh god. That was funny.
See as I found all this out, i couldn't help but think that she just used me, probably wanted a bit of Irish in her or something, and me being a stupid cunt I fell for it. And she knows that the one thing I hate the most in ANY relationship is lieing. Fuck me, she told so many lies I've lost count.
But anyway, Back to the phone call. She's sitting there on the pohne, asking me why I went and Told Sam.
I just laughed. I couldn't help it. This woman is on the phone telling ME that after all she's done to both me AND Sam that I had no right to tell Sam what was basiaclly the truh, that she's a bit of a whore.
I was so happy, I mean do you know how great it feels to have one person twist and churn your heart about, to rip your deepest innermost feelings from your body, to break promise after promise after promise and make you feel like shit for 7 months straght AND make you go a little crazy. And then to finally have that moment of pure Bliss, pure, sweet revenge, to see this bringer of pain fall from her mighty piller, to see someone who has, quite frankly....fucked up more than she's ever fucked up before...sit there....on the phone. While you laugh at her. Do you have any idea how quickly that can make 7 months of pain vanish?

I mean I used to put everything into this journal, all my problems and stuff could go in here and I'd get them off of my chest, I'm not really one for discussing things at length with people, but an LJ post? Now that I could do and it helped a lot.
But I couldn't post all these feelings of guilt, sadness, hurt, I jsut couldn't...Sam would find out. Alot of you might have even noticed the LJ posts diminishing and being replaced with crap meme's and questionaires and shit. Now you all know why.
I really wanted to tell Sam the truth for so fucking long, any of you that have known me for any length of time know I think about things a lot, they dwell on my concience. And believe me that was no exception.
Some of you might have noticed me going a little crazy and running off just before Uber came. It was partly because I was so fucking stressed with all this on my mind, also toxin was being a cunt or something.

But anyway, I feel really bad for Sam, who still hates me a lot and I really don't blame him.
I just feel kinda bad that right now I'm on top of the world because that bitch got put in her place and Sam is really down about it all...probably...I mean he hasn't really spoken to me since I told him it all, he just told me to fuck off in an LJ post, and although that might sound a bit harsh, after what I've done he's perfectly within his right to.

All of you that have known spinkychan, forget about what you think about her. She is everything Sam says she is and more.

Now I'm going out tonight to celebrate my 18th. Monday was the occation, tonight is the celebration. Kay never got me a birthday prezzie, but this will do quite nicely thank-you-very-much :)