Update update update

Well, it's been nearly a week since my last update, so I figured I'd make one.
Continuing on from my last post, my brother is now free....and living here....which sucks....a lot....
Actually, he's been really nice to me, I guess cuz if it wasn't for me, Big Bubba in cell 13J would own his arse.
Some people seem to think that me hating my mother is a bad thing, or that there's something I could ever do to change it. Well, I'll tell you now, it's not gonna happen, since the day I was born, she's be an alcoholic, she still is, I see her maybe 2 or 3 times a year, and even then, that's too much, cuz every time I look at her face, it just reminds me of all the shit she put me through. The anonymous poster said "without her you wouldn't be...you", maybe that's true, if she wasn't around, I would have enjoyed my childhood, maybe I'd be a little more optimistic about the world around me, I duno, all I know is that I hate her as much as I hate Kathleen, that bitch my dad loves, but that's another story. Even if my mum stopped drinking and tried to make up for it, I doubt I'd be able to forgive her, she's already done the damage, plus she'll never stop drinking anyway.
It pisses me off tho, she gets an extra £120 a week from the government because she's classed as "mentally disabled". She's classed as this because she's an alcoholic, so what do they do? They give her MORE cash to spend on booze, cuz that's all she spends her money on, drink. That's also why I don't drink, too many bad memories, too many bad thoughts about what the shit did to her, because I have a few memories of her being sober, and she seemed like such a nice person, but then she would get drunk and turn into a screaming mess. Well, if she wants to be like that, she can, I don't give a fuck about her any more, because if she cared at all for me, should would give the shit up. Well, enough of my rant about her, it doesn't actually bother me any more, I've just learnt to accept it.
Everything else is great right now, things seem to be good with my life, which makes a change, but then it's been pretty good in general for a couple of months now. I think I know why too, but if I mention her name, certain people will bitch and complain as per usual, even tho we're still together after all this time and still just as in love, if not more, which is great and I hope it never changes:)
The only thing that's bothering me now is the X-mas exams that I have next week, but for some reason...I just don't care...I don't understand it, I used to be so attentive at school, that's how I always got fairly good grades without much revision, I just concentrated in class and that was it, but this year I've been really unmotivated to do anything....oh well, school's nearly out for Christmas, only in on Monday for an hour for the Chemistry exam. Wish me luck!