Because I had nothing better to do

I made a Quiz for you! Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!

Not. My. Day.

So yeah, I walked down to the shopping centre (a good 30min walk away it is too) to get a new phone, more coke and to blow off some steam. However, the orange shop had no SPV's in stock and to top it all off, as I arrived, BQFH and my dad were just leaving the place. Luckily they were in the car so they couldn't say much, but my dad rang my (slightly broken) phone, this is how it went:

Dad: "Steve?"
Kushan: "Yes, Dad?"
Dad: "Are you coming down to Kathleen's [BQFH] to help me put down her new floorboards?"
Kushan: "I don't see why I should after the way you acted yesterday"
Dad: "Oh They way I acted?! Bye, Steve"

And then he hung up. Great. Just. Fucking. Great.

Grrr

I'm in a really bad mood.
I'm still brooding about last night (mainly for the non-mcdonald's related thing) and today was a shitty day. It started off ok, pretty heavy but me and Doogie marched on, it was whenever we were back at the yard that someone pissed me off.
See, when unloading the vans, we put the textiles on a certain trolley thing and that's what I was doing.
As I was doing this, some guy from a different van started throwing mine off, saying "you're supposed to put them in black bags!". I ignore him and started throwing only the bagged ones on, thinking it would be best to bag all of the loose ones after, yet still he persists in throwing them off telling me to bag them (they WERE bagged, just some of the bags had the odd say...arm of a shirt hanging out or whatever). So I just threw them down and said "Fuck it, YOU do it then." which he wasn't happy about. I didn't really care, I just walked away, I'm really not in the mood to take shit from anyone.
Not to mention the fact that my dad is completely ignoring me, he still hasn't said one word to me since last night. Probably just as well, too.
To make matters worse, I'm out of coke too >:(

EDIT: And my phone is fucked too, the little Joystick thingy in the middle that's used for navigation (in other words, it's essential) isn't responding any more, so I gotta get a new one. Bollocks.

:/

Well fucksticks.

Today wasn't the best of days.
It started off pretty good actually, while at work since it's a bank holiday the workload was pretty easy. We'd actually finished the round at about 10am, which is stupidly early.

Of course, then we were told that I was to get dropped off with another van to help them (the van that is ALWAYS in before everyone else and NEVER helps anyone) and the other 2 guys were to go home. Which is bloody unfair, but my driver, an English guy called Douglas (Or Doogie as we call him), instead of just dropping me off and going home, told the supervisor to go fuck himself and instead just did his run again, to pick up all the boxes that people brought out after, because they were too lazy to put them out in the morning.
3 times we did that round and we still finished at 12:15 :D

But that was the end of the good stuff.When I came home, after dicking around for a while, my dad called and said "How about Burger king for dinner?" Sounded good to me.
Now I should point out that there are 2 BK's near where I live, the closest one closes early though so we normally go to the other one.

But someone today decided to go to the early closing one and guess what, IT WAS CLOSED!
BQFH then declared "Lets go to McDonald's!"
My dad and I said no, but she just ignored us and walked over anyway. Now my dad gives in, obviously, and decided to go along with it for her sake, so we're standing in line and the conversation went something like this:

Dad: "Steve, what do you want to eat?"
Kushan: "Nothing"
Dad: "Have a burger"
Kushan: "No, I don't like McDonald's"

Then he just mimed to me "have a burger" and I shook my head. Both him and BQFH KNOW Full well that I hate McDonald's, it's why we haven't been there in like 5 years!
So then my dad storms out of the place, I follow and he says something like "You should have taken a burger, how do you think we would feel stuffing our faces while you sit there with nothing?"
I tell him that I really didn't mind not having anything, I Just don't like McDonald's at all, but he just stormed off back to the car. When walking back, BQFH asked "What's wrong, John?" and my dad just pointed to me and said "THAT!" which wasn't nice.

So then we drove back to the house, they dropped me off and went back to McDonald's. Apparently if you don't like Chemicals, you don't get dinner these days o_0

And then later on something bad also happened which affects my entire stay in Liverpool, but hey, shit happens. I'd explain about that but I'm probably not allowed to or something. Oh well.

And the weird thing is, throughout all of this...I really don't care.

I need opinions Because Hardstuff and Demolitionman are useless...

I really should stop posting pictures of myself >_<

But this is the longest I've ever grown my facial hair....




Should I keep it or shave it off?

The download was correctly labelled after all......

BUT I FOUND IT ANYWAY! :D :D :D :D :D :D!!!

Listen t this, all of you

Ok, here's a song I put up in some random hosting place

http://www.savefile.com/files/2660910

Now if you like Evanescence, you'll probably like this, but even if you don't, you might like it anyway.

As a side note, it's from a guy that primarily does the music from the Silent Hill games, he'll probably never be famous and quite frankly, I think this song would do really well in the Uk if it was released in the charts.


On another note, I spent literally hours today looking for an old game I loved, called Breath of Fire III.
It's an old PSX game, but nobody was selling it :(
So I spent the last 8 hours downloading a file that was labelled as "Breath of Fire III (Japan NTSC) PSP.iso" but was about 200Mb too big to be the PSP version, so I'm hoping that it's actually the PSX version and actually in English. Even if it's in Japanese, I'll still play it, I love the game that much. It's almost as good as FF7.

I was bored

T
A
L
K
I
N
G

L
I
K
E

T
H
I
S

T
A
K
E
S

U
P

S
P
A
C
E

If this is wrong, I'm going to KILL nozzy. Well...not that I wasn't going to kill him anyway...

--Goth--
Do you wear black eyeliner?: no
Is most of your clothing black?: no
Do you think about death often?: no
Do you want to die?: I want OTHERS to die...
Are you a social outcast?: Sort of. Not as much as some though.
Are you pale?: Not any more thanks to my Job :(
Do you like Hot Topic?: what? o_0
Do you enjoy Tim Burton's Movies?: Yes
Are you nice?: I'd like to think so, but what has this got to do with goths? o_0 <<<I'm not counting this one.
Are you fond of a fair complexion?: I don't even know what that means....
Total YES: 1

--Skater Punk--
Can you skateboard?: No
Do you wear Vans?: I drive around in a van...
Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?: I do stupid stuff with or without my friends :D
Have you gotten in trouble with the PIGS: No, but the cows are still pissed at me >_>
Do you listen to punk bands: I don't think so o_0
Do you have any piercings?: No way, no and never.
Do you like/wear mohawks?: Not really.
Do you wear Band t-shirts: No
Have you called someone a poser?: What the FUCK has that got to do with skaters? (Answer is yes)
Do you think punk rock is awsome?: No...
Total YES: 0

--Prep--
Do you say the word "like": All the fucking time, but that's a Northern Irish thing.
Do you shop at Abercrombie and Fitch?: I don't shop for anything other than junk food, games and components.
Are the A&F models hot?: Not particularly
Do you pop the collar?: NO, no and no. No.
Do the people in Hot topic scare you?: I don't know what that is! Stop asking me about it you evil quiz!
The only nerd you like is Seth Cohen: No.
Do you watch LAGUNA BEACH?: Do I even know what the fuck Laguna Beach is? Like hell I do!
Do you like pop music: Sort of, maybe. No.
Do you want/have a little dog?: Cats are better.
Do you spend your money on expensive clothes: No.
Total YES: 0

--Hippie--
Is your hair long?: No
Do you own a tye-dye shirt?: No
Do you want peace?: I'm moving away from Northern Irelant partly because of the shit here, so I guess yes.
Do you want to save the animals?: You get 10points for hitting a squirrel, 15 for each additional young one and a bonus of 50 points for getting the whole family.
Do you think the war is unneccesary?: Shit happens.
Is love essential in your life?: Love is a bastard, but...It'd be nice I guess.
Violence is bad: I don't think I own a single game that isn't violent...
Have you smoked pot?: No
Do you go long periods of time without shaving?: Actaully, yes....but I like my facial hair :(
Total YES: 3

--Gangsta--
Are you from the ghetto?: Nein.
Do you own "bling bling"?: My mother bought me some bling for my 18th. I conveniently lost it in a matter of hours.
Do you wear do-rags?: 0_o.....not that I know of...
Do you like hip-hop?: Hell no..
Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?: Hell if I know, even if he was that doesn't make him a good musician because Rap sucks balls.
Do you believe he's alive?: I didn't even know he was dead....
Do you like afros?: Only on black people.
Have you ever said 'fo shizzle'?: Yes....
Do you like to dance?: I. Don't. Dance..
Do you call someone your homie?: I call someone a homo.....
Total YES: 1.5

--Emo--
Do you cry often?: Nope.
Are you emotional?: Yes, but I usually keep it to myself
Do you like soft music: What the fuck is "soft" music? I'll assume it means chillout and say yes.
Do people not understand you?: I don't think anyone knows the real me
Do you write your own songs?: No.
Is your hair dyed dark?: It's naturally dark, so no.
Do you cut yourself?: I'm not retarded.
Are you lonely?: Isn't everyone?
Is Ohio for lovers?: .............what?
Do you own haggard shoes: I wear boots. Both at work and at home. Boots rule.
Total YES: 2

--Surfer--
Do you surf?: I haven't even been to the beach in years.
Do you wear flip flops year-round?: I don't wear them at all.
Is your hair shaggy?: My hair is a living creatuire with it's own mind. No.
Do you wake up at 6 or before every morning?: Not if I can avoid it.
Do you own any pairs of shorts? No.
Are you tan?: A little, but not by choice.
Do you have a lot of patience?: Nope.
Do you want to be at the beach right now?: I want to be as far away from the beach as possible right now.
Do you hate tourists?: The japanese ones are so cute....
Do you have good balance?: Actually yes I do.
Total YES: 1

--Geek--
Do you wear glasses: No, but only because of my weird eye condition
Do you get good grades?: For the little amount of work I do, Yes.
Do you use an inhaler?: Nope
Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets?: Actually yes... <_<
Does your mom pick out your clothes?: My dad often does...
Are you on the computer often?: Often enough to be doing this POS quiz.
Do you ever get picked on?: I used to a hell of a lot, still do a little.
Do you look forward to go to school?: When we actually did stuff, sometimes...
Are you shy around the opposite sex?: Hell yes....well...sort of.....ah hell, I'll just say yes.
Do people laugh at you?: All the fucking time.
Total YES: 8



Well erm....I guess that settles that then o_o

EDIT: Added an LJ cut cuz that was a bit big >_>

New Login for Hiromi!

Ok, I've scrapped the older Firefoxy login and started a new one.

This is a very early version of it that still has plenty to do, but the main image isn't likely to change unless I get a lot of bad feedback (that's where you guys come in).


I still have plenty to do, like the borders and such but I'll do that tomorrow or at the weekend

All opinions of fonts and stuff to use are still welcome.

Oh and I have something really cool for Her! See, my cool little friend who's helping me with the translations and such is going to get me recordings of people speaking Japanese, for use with Hiromi. She's going to have a voice! ^_________________^

And now you call all add t3h.kitteh@gmail.com to Google talk >_<

Google Talk

Am I the only person on the planet that is completely unimpressed by Google Talk (Or Gtalk for short)?
I mean it's nice, it's small and it has a good VoIP service in it, but really, is there any use for it?
All of the people I know use either MSN or AIM (Well actually Chaela uses AIM, if it wasn't for her I wouldn't go near it ¬_¬) and I'll still need to use MSN because not every single one of my contacts will move.
I mean don't get me wrong, it's a nice little app, and I MEAN little ,it takes up only about 10Mb of RAM, but what about GAIM?  It only takes up about 15Mb of RAM and it can handle MSN, ICQ, AIM, Yahoo AND Jabber, which is what GTALK uses. Of course I only use GAIM for AIM, as I prefer MSN's nice interface but nobody can give me one good reason to use Gtalk other than "It's google" :/

I NEED OPINIONS! STAT!

Ok, I need some opinions on my latest work on Hiromi.
To put it simply, I spend all fucking day making this login screen only to be told that it's shit. :(



Yes I know about the line that doesn't match in the middle, like I said, it's a Work In Progress.
But should I just abandon it or finish it? :/

Oh and I redid the boot screen a little bit, here's what it looks like now:



Which do you think is better, this boot screen or the old boot screen?


And any pointers on whether I should use more Japanese text or not would be nice.

So THAT'S why my laptop is so awesome...

While working on Hiromi (laptop), I decided to do a google image search FOR Hiromi, just to see if I could get some pictures or inspiration to add to my little conversion.

And well...

This is why Hiromi rules so god damn much:



I feel what I think might be the same sense of proudness you'd have in your child ^_^

Ok then...

I was just randomly browsing the forum on neowin when I came across a thread called "HELP! My dog just ate a condom!"

I have officially seen everything.

http://www.superdickery.com/other/256.html

Cowboys fighting Nazis....in space...

If there's a developer out there, I beg you...make this into a game!

Uncomfortably numb...

So yeah...I'm definitely going now.
26 days.
When it was like..35, it seemed like a long time away. It feels like only yesterday it was 35. 26.
I'd like to be able to say that I'm looking forward to it, that I'm going to make lots of new friends and have a really good time. But..that's not going to happen if things don't change.
I still can't trust anyone.
I don't need to trust anyone, but there's one person I wish I could trust..one person I wish would never lie to me or anything, the one person who I'll have to rely on for a while at the very least. But still...how can I trust that person after everything? How can I trust that person if I can't trust anyone? Let alone someone that's shattered whatever trust I had in them before...
If I cannot trust people, even good friends, how am I supposed to make more friends? How can I expect anything to change at all if I don't even want to leave my room?
I didn't even go out to celebrate getting exam results. Everyone else did. I felt sick.
I get the feeling that it was a phantom illness, brought on because I just didn't want to go...
I'm worried that University will be no different. I'll go out to the lectures, go out to work, but after I'll just shut myself in my room like always.
I mean I don't do anything...I just sit here...bored...numb....but it's better than being out there....
I don't know what I want any more.
It's easy for people to assume that I'll make friends, that I'll enjoy myself, but everything about student life involves socialising, drinking, stuff that I don't do...any more....
I never did drink.
What is wrong with me? All I can think of when I think of University is the added problems I'll have. It makes no difference to me where I'll be, heck I haven't gotten excited about it once, but it bothers me because of what I'll have to face. Financial worries, emotional worries....her....it's all just bad.
I can't really think of anything good that will come of it. And what if it is a disaster? What have I got to come home to? There's nobody waiting for me, only a few friends who barely even notice I'm around and I can't blame them either, I'm not exactly the life of the party.
This time last year I was so happy, I can't describe it. It was only like a week before the festival, before Leeds...before...it...
Still, it haunts me. I don't know if it was the best time of my life or the worst, but since then nothing has been good...it's all...gone bad...
From having problems holding on to Kay, to getting grief in school, to finding out that Kay was with some other guy, it just got worse and worse. And I've descended from there...I've shut out a lot of my friends and most of the outside world. Hell, I only talk to like 3 different people on MSN and 2 of them usually message me first.
I need meaning in my life...I need something good to happen, I can't go on like this...

Holy A-level results, batman!

Ok, so the results are in....

ICT - B
Business Studies - C
Biology - E

That means I passed them all.

Total points (not including Key skills and such): 220
Points required: 180.

It's official, I'm going to university!

Ummm...

A-level results tomorrow.
These decide what happens to me for the rest of my life.
Fuck.

Weird meme...

Very Well-Rounded You have: 70% SCIENTIFIC INTUITION and 62% EMOTIONAL INTUITION

The graph on the right represents your place in Intuition 2-Space. As you can see, you scored above average on emotional intuition and above average on scientific intuition. (Weirdly, your emotional and scientific intuitions are equally strong.) Your Emotional Intuition score is a measure of how well you understand people, especially their unspoken needs and sympathies. A high score score usually indicates social grace and persuasiveness. A low score usually means you're good at Quake. Your Scientific Intuition score tells you how in tune you are with the world around you; how well you understand your physical and intellectual environment. People with high scores here are apt to succeed in business and, of course, the sciences.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Scientific You scored higher than 99% on Interpersonal

Link: The 2-Variable Intuition Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating

I got a haircut....

I know I'm asking for trouble here, but since I feel obliged to update this thing and can't think of anything else.

Before
 

After

I know, I'm posting a picture to show my haircut off, a picture that cuts off most of the hair anyway. See the problem is that I took 17 photographs and that was the only one I was vaguely happy with. So to hell with you all :P
Not that it matters, see Hairdressers I've noticed, have a habit of seemingly doing a lot of work and spending a lot of time at it, without actually doing much...
In other words, it just looks messy, but in a good way.
And I STILL maintain that I look like the proverbial mule's arse.

In other news, I found the perfect keyboard to compliment my MX1000, when it's released that is: http://www.artlebedev.com/portfolio/optimus/
Shame it'll probably cost like £150....

*steals Chaela*

Lets see here.
Last night I went to a poker game with a few friends. I started off with £10.
I lost a few bets at first, but then won a couple of big hands. Then I realised at one point that I had £10.95.
I set aside 90p for bets and pocketed the rest. That way I could say that I won money ^_^

Today was a long day at work.
What happened was we were given a lot to do. Not so much a lot, more that it was spread over a large area, mostly country areas.
So anyway, there was a van on "support", supposedly whoever was driving this would find out who was behind and give them a hand. Today a man called Ashley was doing support.
As it happens, Harry's van (Harry is my driver) had to get serviced last night, so it still hadn't been emptied, so for today we took Ashley's van while Ashley emptied Harry's then took it out for support duties.
The day starts at 07:30.
At 09:00, he told one person that he was too busy to help them. Said person was watching Ashley sit in the van with his feet up as he was speaking to him on the phone.
Later on that day, at about 13:30, when most of the other vans were already back at the Yard finishing, we were still out with quite a few hours of work still left to do. Support was in the Yard too. (The "Yard" is where the MRF lives, where we unload the vans and park them for the next day). Not once did Ashley come anywhere near us or lift so much as one box on our run.
Ashley didn't bother doing most of what he was assigned to do and came back to the Yard with just 3 bags full of plastic. The van is able to hold 12 (actually it's able to hold nearly 20 if you squeeze them in).
We came back with 9 and had given 2 to Davey the support driver. At about 17:30 that is, some 4 hours after Ashley.
When unloading the Van, you're meant to drop off all of the bags then tie new ones on for the next day. Ashley had at least done that for Harry's van. Not surprising considering how early he got back.
We left his van in the middle of the yard, empty. The bastard can fix it up himself in the morning, which will take a good half hour.
But it gets better, due to the fact that he was a little shit today, he's getting more than half of my run to do tomorrow as well as bits from other people. That means that I'll be finishing tomorrow at about 12:30 (at the latest) while he'll still be out at 18:00 (we don't get paid after 16:30). Bastard.
Oh and next time we do the same run, instead of having to do it all, Ashley gets to do most of it for us. ^_^

That was just today, I'll make a proper entry about a proper day some other time, right now I'm going to collapse onto my bed.

So, boobs.....

Well lets see here. I think it's time I put in a proper update.
So here we go. Latest things going on in the life of Kushan.....

My cool brother, Chris is doing something interesting. Involving boobs no less.
See, apparently he was in the pub one day as usual when the topic of breasts came up, as it happens to do during pub hours.
One thing led to another and now apparently he's making some sort of calender for breast cancer awareness. What's more, he's even going to be on TV o_0
It's just local TV, so I probably wont actually see it (since he lives in a different part of the country) but if it happens to appear on Digital TV (since we get all of the regionalizations of say BBC2 and stuff) I'll try to record it on DVD. Madness.

Exam results are out next Thursday, the 18th. Although I only have to get like...a D and an E to get into Uni, there's still a very slim chance that I'll have fucked it up. Although that WOULD mean getting worse than a D in ICT which is...unlikely. But hey!
So to that end, I decided to book that Thursday and Friday off. So I went to book them when the second in command came up to me and told me that I might have to take a few extra days off.
See, the place where I work built this big big machine to sort out the stuff, it's called a MRF (pronounced "Murf"), which stands for something, apparently.
Well anyway, the MRF is fucked and likes to break down for a few days. Which means that all of the staff who are there for the Machine have nothing to do.
Now I don't work at the MRF, I'm out in the van collecting the stuff. But still, in their wise wisdom, they decided that since the MRF doesn't work, it makes sense to put the Van staff (I.E. me) on standby and put the MRF staff on the vans. Umm....yeah....
Bastards.

I have more to tell, I have to put up an account of just a regular day at my Job because I get the feeling that some of you might even find it interesting o_0
But for now I sleep.

*cradles his MX1000*

New mouse

I bought myself a new mouse today. A cordless one at that. But don't worry, it's a sexy, sexy mouse.




It's not an optical mouse. Oh no, its a laser mouse, 20x better than optical. Yes, it's cordless but batteries are not an issue, it's receiver is also a charger, you just plop the mouse into it when you're not using it and it charges the little dinger.
Wireless you say? Isn't that crappy for games? Normally yes, but this mouse is actually faster than most corded mouse. At worst, it's exactly the same. Excellent piece of kit.

I'll update more later.

*Undeletes*

All right, I've had a few days to myself now.
I'm sorry for running off like that, but I wanted to spend some time alone, away from everyone, you know, some me time and quite frankly, I couldn't have posted that without Toxin going on some rampage about how I'm seeking attention. Fuck, I can't post anything at all in here without him going off on me. So I deleted my LJ. It also stopped his previous little high-horse rant and a fight that was brewing in the comments here.

Yeah, so I have a problem with trusting people, so sue me, it's a side-effect from so many people lying to me. As for the whole picture thing, I reckon I might have overreacted and to everyone I apologise for that. However, I still believe that I am in no way attractive and I doubt that's going to change any time soon. But for what it's worth, I've never thought anything different.

I'm still going to take some time out for a while, maybe a week or so. I know I've done this before, but what some people don't seem to understand is that it helps. It helps me at least, I just need to gather my feelings and come back when I'm ready.
It's not me alienating everyone, it's me composing myself so I don't go off on everyone when they so much as say that I look good. I honestly don't know if any of you were telling the truth or not and the more I think about it, the more it pisses me off that I can't trust even my own friends, but I guess I'll get over it. Maybe.

Oh and if Toxin or anyone else feels that I'm seeking attention at all by doing this, by all means tell me and I'll just delete the LJ again. If it's what I have to do to prove a point, then that's what I'll do.
Oh and...there are 2 people out there who surprised me by still managing to track me down, despite the fact that I thought I'd tied off all the loose ends. I just want them to know that I was quite surprised...and a little touched too.
As for the rest of you, I'll see you all again in a few days.
Oh and Toxin, I'm still very pissed off at you.

Dear Kitty,

This is Nozzy writing in Kushan's Journal. I just want to tell Kushan somehting if he sees this. I un-deleted your journal, man. Please don't get mad at me and please just don't listen to bullshit people give you. You don't have to go and be this way, just ognore it. BEsdies, me and Whitney spent a good amount of time on your layout that we are doing FOR you at no expense to you and we don't want that to go wasted. Please don't go.

-Nozzy

Dear Nozzy, I appreciate your help and I thank you for the trouble you went to. I'm sorry for running off. - Kushan

Just so you know

If my layout goes a bit mad, it's because Nozzy is fucking with it (hopefully in the good way...strange boy...).
God speed.

Why must everyone lie to me?