Rap is shit.

Well I can't sleep and although I'm still quite happy with my life at the moment, especially the Carmy side of it, I think I'm going to have a nice good rant at something that pisses me off:

Rappers.

Now don't get me wrong, this isn't a generic "ogm rap suxxx!!!" rant, I'm going to be specific this time and bitch about a certain kind of rapper.
I.E. The kind that blow themselves WAY out of proportion and try to make themselves look like...some sort of...humane...ghandi like figure who wants to be righteous and speak out against evil in the world!
Now I know what you're thinking, Steve's had too Much Red Bull and is currently hallucinating or something, but bare with me (Is it Bare or bare when you say "bare with me"?.
Lets take 2Pac for example. Yes I'm aware he's dead, I'm also aware that he's STILL releasing shit. And I mean shit! But the way he raps, he thinks he's fucking Lenin or something.
Here's some example lyrics, from one of his newer ones. I've highlighted the bits of interest in case you don't want to actually read them (and lets face it, nobody reads lyrics people post up anyway):

[Chorus - Elton John:]
Those who wish to follow me (My ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
And the red sun sinks at last into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior without the sound of guns


What the hell? He's pretty much saying "I AM THE NEW RELIGION, COME LISTEN TO ME PREACH!!!" How fucking up your own arse can you get? And what is the last line meant to mean? That he's the only "gangsta rappa" out there that DOESN'T support guns, drive-by shootings and such? Yeah, bollocks mate.

Everyone's ashamed to the youth cuz the truth looks strange
And for me it's reversed, we left them a world that's cursed, and it hurts
cause any day they'll push the button
and yall condemned like Malcolm x and Bobby Hunton, died for nothin
Don't them let me get teary, the world looks dreary

Fucking hell, it's like he woke up one day and went "oh shit, we're going to blow ourselves up! I must write a song about it to show the world how doomed we are! I MUST CONVERT THESE POOR PEOPLE FROM THE EVIL OF THEIR WAYS!!!"
I mean for fuck's sake, it's not like he's the first person to realise that we're definitely going to blow ourselves up. Twat. And of course, he knows better, doesn't he? Oh yeah and he shall convey this epiphany through rap!

it aint about black or white, cuz we're human
I hope we see the light before its ruined

See what I mean? Maybe I'm wrong though, maybe it's just this ONE song. I picked a random other song by 2Pac (And yes, I'm calling them songs for lack of a better word). I picked one called "Violent" which is from a completely different album and everything, apparently. Here's the opening verse:

They claim that I'm violent, just cause I refuse to be silent
These hypocrites are havin fits, cause I'm not buyin it
Defyin it, envious because I will rebel against
any oppressor, and this is known as self defense


The same "I'm high and mighty" shit appears here too. I went looking for another random song to post more lyrics to see if there was a pattern. One caught my eye. "Black Jesus" (Concidering that Jesus came from the middle-east, there's a good chance that he was black anyway, or at least very well tanned). Yes, this man really does think he's the new Jesus. Although this one appears to have more than one "rappa" in it, here's his verse:

Searching for Black Jesus
Oh yeah, sportin jewels and s**t, yaknahmean?
(Black Jesus; you can be Christian
Baptist, Jehovah Witness)
Straight tatted up, no doubt, no doubt
(Islamic, won't matter to me
I'm a thug; thugs, we praise Black Jesus, all day)
Young Kadafi in this bi**h, set it off ni**a..
What?

Yes, I do believe his last line was simply "what?". But I wonder what he was referring to? Could he be asking what he was looking for Jesus for? Could it be he was asking what Jesus had to say? Or could it just be what he thought when he read his own lyrics? It doesn't make sense to me either, 2Pac.

But don't get me wrong, I'm not targeting the late 2Pac here, he's not the only cunt that does this. Eminem does it too and he does it even worse than Mr Pac here.

Lets check out a few lines from "Like Toy Soldiers", shall we?

I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter
I'd never drag them in battles that I can't handle unless I absolutely have to
I'm supposed to set an example

Right, I'll completely ignore the fact that half of this verse doesn't even rhyme and concentrate on the bits I've highlighted. He's got the whole world on his shoulders? What? Since when the fuck did he have to carry the world? Does that mean we can blame Eminem for the whole war in Iraq thing? Was it him that put Kim Jong-il into power in North Korea or is he just the person that has to deal with him? Yes, indeed, the rest of the verse would make more sense that way I suppose, should Kim be a little too good at Kung Fu, Eminem will only call in his "crew" when he's nearly defeated or something.
And setting an example? For who? You're a fucking rapper you cock, the only example you set is what NOT to do. I.e. Don't do drugs, Don't pretend to be black, Don't hate Gay people and for the love of Christ,  whatever the fuck you do, do NOT become a fucking Rapper..
Some more lyrics I think:

There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it
It was crazy, this shit way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it
I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it


I'm sorry, I know it's slightly off my original topic, but I can't help but point out that he just repeats himself in the last line twice just because he couldn't think of a long enough thing to say that rhymed. Prick.
But back on topic slightly, I can't pretend to know the fully story behind this, but I don't think I'd be far wrong in assuming that he heard some other rapper say something about his Girlfriend being shit in bed or something, so he had to go out on an almighty crusade and slay him. Then write a song about it. Then go on about how stupid an idea it actually was. I think we've all seen an epic of some sort where the main hero starts to doubt themselves, Frodo does it all the time in Lord of the rings, the whingey cunt, but Eminem reckons he's that hero. It gets worse too.

That was never my object for someone to get killed
Why would I wanna destroy something I helped build

What the fuck? Dude you rap about people killing other people all the fucking time, what did you expect? And when the fuck did YOU help build up the "rapping" industry? It's been around for longer than you have and it'll probably still be here when you're gone. Unfortunately.

It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good

I think your intentions should be to give your children the education you clearly never had.

There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme
And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin'
But now it's elevated cuz once you put someone's kids in it
The shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?
It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin'

Yes, Eminem, the Rapping industry has ESCALATED beyond simple music, it's now so fierce that if you do a bad rap, you'll get yo ass capped!
Oh Eminem, you're our leader, you will guide us through the hardships of Rap! You will protect us! You will only call us when Kim Jong-il kicks the living shit out of you!
Do you think someone should point out to Mr em here that Rapping originated from the ghetto, you know, where drive-by's were daily and people got killed for just walking into the wrong territory, let alone singing about how someone's girlfriend cant give head for shit?
But then again, he isn't actually Black, as much as he'd like to believe it, so chances are he doesn't actually know about that. Twat.

Other rappers do it too, they make themselves out to be Jesus Reincarnate, that they're going to save the world or lead people away from sin or some bullshit like that.
How about you all just fuck off.

In fact, to protest against these cunts, I'm going to listen to the Rasmus. Not becuase one of their songs has any relevence and not because I like them (I don't, I don't think anyone does really), but because even they can make better music than these two dicks  can. And that's saying something.