Thick gravy is kinda like shit

Still aint feeling the best today, but I guess I'm feeling better, still got that all on my mind...
We (Me, my Dad and my (evil) stepmum) went out for out dinner today, which was kinda cool I guess, some fancy carvery place or something, either way, it was nice, still didn't take my mind of things, tho, but I guess every little helps.
Darkblade carttonifed me today, you can see what my cartoon alter-ego looks like here: http://n00bstories.com/images/1281925298.jpg Apparently, there's one hell of a resemblance, so I dunno if I should be happy or scared....
Another thing that's kinda worrying me, is the fact that some of my friends in real life are actually starting to call me Kushan, even though they know nothing of my online life, they just got it from my e-mail (Kushan_the_cat@hotmail.com) so that's gonna take some getting used to, heh, it'll confuse the hell out of the teachers at school, that's for sure lol.
Another thing which actually made me happy, in a strange way, was that Vlad was threatening me again lol, this time it was just a bashing I was gonna get, not strangeling, it's so funny, he acts all big and hard, like some 8 year old trying to be a big 18 year old. I pitty the guy, he keeps making all these empty threats trying to sound hard, yet he doesn't realise just how much of a tit he's making himself out to be. I mean, does he even know that half the people he threatans Copy and paste every word of it to about 10 other people because they get such a kick out of it? In fact, I've been thinking of releasing my entire chat logs with him, just so people can see how pathetic he really is, but I'm not sure if I should, as there are parts in it where I played along with his little games, just so I could get close to him, that's right, Vlad "recruited" me, but do not fear, I never had any intentions of doing his dirty work, in fact, the very day he recruited me, I was in contact with his adversaries, and to this day, he knew nothing about it. Heh, he's gonna be pissed if he reads this:D What do you guys think, should I release the logs showing what a fool he is, or should I give him SOME dignity?

Shit....It's kinda like really thick gravy...

Today was...to say the least...a really shitty day. In fact, it got shitty almost immediately after I updated last night. Just imagine being told the worst thing that anyone could ever tell you, then multiply that by 10, then dump a pile of shit on it, then you'll have some idea as to how shitty it's been.
Why's it been so shitty? Well, everything's went wrong, for a start, I managed to pull a muscle in bed last night and believe me, that really fucking hurts, then, I had to go out to the shop today and I forgot my Key, meaning an hours walk to my (evil) stepmum's house to get hers. But the main thing that's been bothering me is Michelle, I feel like a real ass, it occured to me last night that all this stuff about me liking Michelle isn't exactly making her life any easier, I dunno, I've just got this gut feeling that she's really uncomfortable with it and I don't know what to do, it's been going around my head all day, I didn't get any sleep last night either because of it. I feel like such an idiot, this whole time there was me thinking that she was ok with it, and then..well..I dunno...I'm so confused right now, I don't know what to think. To make it worse, Michelle somehow guessed that something was up, and I think I really pissed her off because I didn't tell her what it was, I didn't want to upset her, I never want to upset het, but it's very possible that this whole thing is upsetting her and it's really getting me down, because it's all my fault, I even conciderd blocking her and never speaking to her again, just to make sure I didn't hurt her, but I don't know if that would solve the problem or just make it worse, I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a very fucking hard place, of whatever few options I have, they all involve my life being severely fucked over, lose-lose situation thing...Everyone else has been having a really shitty time lately as well, as I noticed yesterday, I guess I should have realized something bad was going to happen to me in the end, too...

Isn't it amazing as to how you can always tell when your parents are blatantly lying to you?

School wasn't too bad at all today, all it was was a big 1 hour lecture as to how different being a 6th year is to being a 5th year, stuff we already knew since 1st year. I was surprised, more of my friends got back than I thought, including the guy that was one C off getting back, I guess he must have sweet-talked the principal lol. There were also a few people there who I wasn't expecting to see, people who constantly messed around and got into trouble while simultaneously failing almost every exam they took. How the hell they got back I'll never know...
My timetable this year rocks, so many free periods where I get to do whatever the hell I want:D Out of a 50 period week, I have like 9 free, which may not sound like much, but it actually is quite a lot, for example, on monday, I have a 2 hour gap between classes, that's like a 2 hour lunch! That rocks so much. Being a 6th former rocks!
Sad thing is tho, a lot of people seemed to be really down/depressed today, some for good reasons (Lucy, I really hope she pulls through, remember what I told you to tell your friend), others were just shitty in general. Am I the only one that had a decent day?
Oh well, I guess it can't be helped, we all have bad days, I guess today was just generally a shitty bad day.
Michelle seemed to be in a really good mood today, forthe most part, but then she started feeling a little sick, so she had to lie down, she felt better, but later on, she felt sick again and just went to bed, I hope she's ok...
I got a visit from my biological mum today (If you think I hate my stepmum, you have no idea how much I hate her...she's an alcoholic, always drunk, I mainly blame her for a crappy childhood, she's also the main reason why I will most likely never drink alcohol, just the thought of the stuff reminds me of her, and that REALLY puts me off it). SHe gave me a card saying "Well done on your GCSE's" adn £25, which was good I guess, and she only hung around for like 5mins, but when she was there, she said something to me that really worried me, she said "So I hear you've got a gf?" and I was like "*cough* Excuse me? who the hell said that?" "Well, that's what your dad said" so as soon as my dad came in, I had a go at him, as soon as I mentioned the "girlfriend" word, he immediately turned around and said "Oh fuck off Steve, I didn't say anything like that, and anyway, I'm not in the mood". I know my dad too well, he's hiding something, I know it, thing is, what does he know? Or more to the point, what does he THINK he knows? Cuz I'm really pissed at him saying that, I'd better end this before I go on about how wrong he is and how he thinks he knos me, yet he knows jack and why it's morally wrong for him to say that and all that shit, I'll just go off to bed before that happens, g'night all.

School...it lurks...everywhere...it's coming to get me...but that's ok...I know kung fu...

Well, I was kinda feeling shitty when I got up today, but it didn't last long, don't ask me why, but I just felt better. I guess part of that reason was because RenX posted this on RenEvo, referring to me:

That made me feel kinda happy, dunno why, I guess it just never hurts to have a little positive feedback. And that was mainly a pathetic excuse to use html in one of my posts lol.
But what really made me happy was Michelle, now don't get we wrong, she didn't do anything to deliberatly cheer me up or anything, in fact, she prolly didn't even know I was feeling down, but I dunno what it is about her, just talking to her always makes me feel good...
Played RA2 some more with Michelle, which was fun. Same story, me and her Vs. the AI, me doing all the work lol *gets Kicked by Michelle*, her excuse was that the Soviets had better tanks, so we switched, she then played as soviets and I played as the Aliies. Once again, I did all the work, I took out 3 of the 4 AI's lol *Gets repeatadly kiced in the nuts, has his arm broke and gets his head shoved into the cooker by Michelle*
-Some time later-
Well, that hurt...ow... *Makes mental note: Michelle owns at RA2, she's the best playerr he's ever seen*
School starts tomorrow, I'm only in for like an hour or so, so that's not too bad, it's just to get books and stuff like that, yet they still make us wear our uniforms ffs. But still, I'm kidna looking forward to it, as I still don't know exactly who all got back, in fact, it's quite possible that all of my old friends didn't get back, so I'm kinda worried about that...I'm pretty sure most of 'em didn't, and that blows to say the least....

"We work well together...by we I mean I"

It's time to update me journal, why is it time? Because Michelle asked me to, that's why:)
I finally got the w32.Blaster worm today, I'm surprised it took this long to get it, most of the rest of the people I know have caught it already, at least, the ones that didn't install the patch have. I've had the patch installer on my PC for weeks now, I've just been too lazy to install it lol. The annoying thing is, It infected me when I was in the middle of a game of RA2 with Michelle, now I don't have much time to play games these days, and I manage to get the virus during one of the few times I do play them...wow, God really hates me lol.
Later on, I played RA2 for a good while with Michelle, it was me and her against 4 AI's. It was fun, I built a nice big base, captured lots of oil derricks, built up a nice big attack force and blew lots of stuff up adn Michelle..she sort of...sat there...doing very little (She's gonna kill me when se reads that lol, better start equipping the armour now). Nah, I think she blew up a few things, not sure tho:P *Gets kicked in the nuts by Michelle* Uhh...of course, what I ment to say, was that she was a great help, I couldn't have done it without her...*hides*
She's got me hocked on Outlook Express. Before, I just used regular IE to check my mail, I tried using outlook before, but that was outlook 2000, which doesn't support hotmail, I didn't know OE did untill she happened to mention it. How dumb are MS? The version of outlook that you pay for doesn't work with hotmail, yet the free version of it does...
I fiddled for about 20mins to get it to work with my Yahoo account, but I was having problems, as it turns out, Yahoo doesn't let you do that for free, silly bastards. It's no big deal, that's my spam account, I only use it to register with a place that I reckon will send me spam, so I don't get any, I never check that account, I can't be arsed to delete 300+ e-mails every day lol.
Vlad was talking to me on msn tonight, he's aparantly going to send someone around to strangle me outside my school. Heck, I aint scared of empty threats, I even told him the name of my school and when I'll be there (It's St. Malachy's college, Belfast, you can get the address at their site, http://www.stmalachyscollege.com I'll be there Mon-Fri, 9-3:30 except on friday when we get out at 3, I think) so come on Vlad, send "tha" boys around, I can't wait to meet them:D

Fuck fuck fuck

That's a lot of fucks, huh?
Well, due to my dad being an ass last night, I couldn't update you on yesterday's events, so here it is now, I'll update you all later on with todays events as well.
As it turns out, remember that guy from work who's name I didn't know, that I referred to as "Pete"? Well, his name really IS Pete...freeky.
Speaking of work, I just phoned them to tell them that I wont be in for the rest of the week, cuz quite frankly, I couldn't be fucked working there any more, especially since my dad wants 75% of my Pay for "housekeeping" meaning I'm effectively only getting paid £1.05 an hour, which fucking sucks.
Oh and guess what? Remember Nozzy? that little fuckwit that pissed me off so much? He's done it again. He made a comment about Michelle on the RenAlert forum and I asked him to change it 3 times, but instead, he just made the comment worse, so fuck him. He had no reason to call her anything, she hadn't even posted on that forum, in fact, she hadn't said anything about him, he was just being a dick. I don't care what people say, I'm not going to let anyone say anything bad about Michelle, especially Nozzy.
After that little...incident...me and Michelle decided to have a 1on1 arse about on Ren for a bit, only this time, there was a catch - we were both using that big Ren hack that puts all of the guns on steroids (A flamethrower can take out a building from the outside in less than 1 second). Damn, that was funny. The only problem is, when you use a gunner (The guy with the rocket launcher) he shots like 999 rockets in about 3 seconds, which is way too much for my crappy machine to handle lol.
I would have updated you all on this last night, but my Dad was acting like an arse "It's 1 in the morning! It's far too late to be up, go to bed NOW!" he wouldn't even give me 5mins to finish off anything I was doing (in other words, update this). And that was going to be my one night off this week, my one night where I could actually stay up late with Michelle, one of the few things I actually look forward to, and he went and fucked that up. That's yet another reason why I quit the Job, and he'll never know, cuz I can just make up some excuse about them not wanting me cuz I will be back at school or something. Fuck it. I'm not going to work like 40 hours a week for a measly £40 anyway....

How is it your parents always know?

Something really weird happened today. Well, I havn't been eating much lately (Don't worry, I still eat plenty, just not as much as usual). Well, anyway, my dad asked me if I was feeling alright, cuz I didn't eat much of my dinner, I said I was fine, and after a brief pause he said to me "Are you in love or something?". Naturally, I just burst out laughing saying "Dad, that's one of the dumbest things I've ever herd". He just sort of grunted and walked off. Oh, if only he knew....
While in work today, I was stuck with this guy all day, we were talking for ages, he's a friendly guy, but what really pissed me off was the fact that he knew my name, but I didn't have a clue as to what his name was. In fact, that guy's been talking to me since Day 1 and I still don't know his name lol, I'd look like such a tard if I asked him what it was, cuz chances are, he's already told me like a million times, but my mind's most likely been on other things (Michelle :P). Work tomorrow again, that guy (Let's just call him Pete for now lol) will probably be there, if I catch him at the right time, maybe I can see him sign his name on the sheet we have to sign when we enter the warehouse. Speaking of work, we got out at 14:15 instead of 16:00 today, so I was chuffed with that, hopefully the same will happen tomorrow. Off on Wednesday, back thursday, then it's school on Friday for like 1 and a half hours. That reminds me, I'm down for working on friday, but cuz of School, I wont be able to make it, I must phone them tomorrow to let them know...maybe I'll try to get out of thursday as well >:D