Lets just be friends

You know how many times I've heard those words? More than I can count.
Lets just be friends.
I want to find whoever first said that and kill them.
Lets just be friends.
It's the same story, again and again. I meet someone, I begin to like them and just when things seem to be going good, I get the Lets just be friends routine. I am sick of it.
I'm sick of people being shallow, I am sick of being misled or having my hopes crushed I am sick of the constant reminders that the only ever time I've been with someone I genuinely cared about with my heart was fake, it wasn't real, it was a ruse just to get me into bed. It was a lie.
And no matter what, I can't seem to be good enough for anyone. I try hard, I try to be the nicest possible guy I can be, I can make friends with anyone, but that's it. It never amounts to anything more than being friends.
I mean...any of my friends from real life will tell you that I always go out of my way for them, I always try to do what they want, despite the fact that nobody ever really asks what I want.
Well I'll tell you all now what I want, for me, for myself.
I want to know what it is that everyone else has that I haven't, that little thing that's missing that makes me inadequate for women.
I want Sam to stop hating me, I want him to realise that I never wanted to hurt or betray anyone, I want him to know that I envy him for having someone for 2 years, all I ever had was one day and even that, as I've already stated, was a lie.
I want my router back
I want a better Job
I want people to stop seeing my shell of a body and see the inner me.
But most of all, I want....I...I just want someone to be with....even if it's not love....just...someone to hold.....

Screw all that: Women are bitches.