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Sunday, 31 July 2005

How do I look?

I keep changing. In appearance that is. How do I look now?


This is me just under a year ago, at the festival where I met Sam and Kay.
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This is me a few months later, at my formal in November 2004. (This is the picture of me I hate the most)
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Here is me a few months after that, I guess it was...January this year some time? Around then.
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This is me I guess maybe a month or 2 ago
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And Finally, this is a picture taken of me a few moments ago:
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Maybe it's just me, but my appearance never seems to stay the same :/

Saturday, 30 July 2005

"I'm being nibbled to death by......by....what's those earth things....got feathers, long beak...'goes quack'..."
"...Cats?"
"Cats! I'm being nibbled to death by Cats".
I <3 Babylon 5

-________-

I fell asleep at 21:30 last night.
I only woke up about 5mins ago o_0

1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written

Tuesday, 26 July 2005

I have a dream!

For those that are unaware, I have named my Laptop Hiromi.
Hiromi is the name of that Japanese woman who clearly wants to have hot sex with me.
And the other day, I decided to get a new wallpaper for my desktop, I figured I'd search for Hiromi on google image search and see what came up. I found a nice wallpaper of some Japanese girl called Hiromi and used it. Maybe it's the same one. Only time will tell.
And it got me thinking, why stop there? I am gonna try and theme the whole laptop around Japan/Hiromi, for the hell of it.

To start off, I'm making a bootscreen.

This is a slightly different one than what I have so far, but the basic idea is the same.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

And yes, that does say "Hiromi" in the middle ^_^


I'm gonna make the logon screen next, after that I might attempt to make some form of full on theme but it's more than likely I'll just steal one ^_^

EDIT: Some meme thing...


LOOK OUT!
���
Kushan is a radioactive squirrel!!

Username:
From Go-Quiz.com

Makes sense to me!

Sunday, 24 July 2005

Weee....

So tonight I went to Dave's house. It was alright.
Jim was there. I bought him a pizza. I spent like £13 on food for me and him. 2 weeks ago I bought him Tekken 5 because I was in a good mood. I bought him a pizza hut too, total cost of like £55. I lent him £20 not long before that.
And tonight he couldn't even be bothered to wait outside with me for 5mins while my taxi came when I decided to go home.
I'm getting the feeling that it's not just women that like to use me...

Saturday, 23 July 2005

Lets just be friends

You know how many times I've heard those words? More than I can count.
Lets just be friends.
I want to find whoever first said that and kill them.
Lets just be friends.
It's the same story, again and again. I meet someone, I begin to like them and just when things seem to be going good, I get the Lets just be friends routine. I am sick of it.
I'm sick of people being shallow, I am sick of being misled or having my hopes crushed I am sick of the constant reminders that the only ever time I've been with someone I genuinely cared about with my heart was fake, it wasn't real, it was a ruse just to get me into bed. It was a lie.
And no matter what, I can't seem to be good enough for anyone. I try hard, I try to be the nicest possible guy I can be, I can make friends with anyone, but that's it. It never amounts to anything more than being friends.
I mean...any of my friends from real life will tell you that I always go out of my way for them, I always try to do what they want, despite the fact that nobody ever really asks what I want.
Well I'll tell you all now what I want, for me, for myself.
I want to know what it is that everyone else has that I haven't, that little thing that's missing that makes me inadequate for women.
I want Sam to stop hating me, I want him to realise that I never wanted to hurt or betray anyone, I want him to know that I envy him for having someone for 2 years, all I ever had was one day and even that, as I've already stated, was a lie.
I want my router back
I want a better Job
I want people to stop seeing my shell of a body and see the inner me.
But most of all, I want....I...I just want someone to be with....even if it's not love....just...someone to hold.....


Screw all that: Women are bitches.

Wednesday, 20 July 2005

Specs

For those of you that want to know:

Make - Acer

CPU: 1.6Ghz Celeron M
RAM: 512Mb DDR
HDD: 40Gb
TFT: 15"
DVD+-RW

It's not really for anything heavy, like gaming or video encoding, just working on while at Uni and while Uber is at home.

<3

o_0

I now own a laptop :D

Tuesday, 19 July 2005

Stupid bitch...

While at work today, at around 14:00, my phone rang. It was BQFH.
She asked if my dad was with me, I said no.
She then tells me to phone him and get him to phone her.
So I told her that I couldn't, that I was still at work and busy lifting boxes.
She tells me that he rang her and when she tried to right back, he wouldn't answer the phone, also she says she had no credit left on her phone.
Ignoring the fact that she was phoning me without the need for credit and the fact that since I recently (as in yesterday) changed my phone over from contract to Prepay and thus had actually no credit myself, also me phoning him is going to do no good since he's not answering his phone (and if that was deliberate, I wasn't about to get caught in the middle of their little fights) I said to her again that I was too busy, which was true as well. She said "Ok then" and hung up.

Then I come home and as soon as I walk in the door, my dad jumps up and shouts "Why didn't you phone me when Kathleen asked you to?!". I calmly replied that I was busy lifting boxes. "Well you could have stopped!". I retorted with "Unless you've forgotten, I haven't any credit anyway since I changed to pay as you go". He simply said "Uhh...well I did forget. Now apologise to Kathleen!".

CAN ANYONE EXPLAIN TO ME ANY OF THE FUCKING LOGIC GOING AROUND HERE?!

Sunday, 17 July 2005

*yawn*

Sleepy.
Played lots of guild wars today, 'twas fun. Went to a friends house and shouted profanities at various Americans via Xbox Live, 'twas also fun.

Lois gets back on Friday, I can't say that I haven't been thinking about her, but you know I haven't been that upset by missing her or anything, it's like....everything's good. I'm happy, she's on holiday and enjoying herself, there's nothing to be bothered about, unlike what I was once like where I would have obsessed over her and gotten depressed about it....
But still, in saying that, she'll be back on Friday and I am definitely looking forward to seeing her again :)

Life is good.

Friday, 15 July 2005

Damn You Chaela, making me do stuff >_

List ten fictional characters that you would like to have sex with. Then tag five friends to share their list.

In no particular order...
(Click for pics)

1. Naomi Armitage - Armitage III (What can I say? I love her ^_^)
2. 7of9 - Star Trek Voyager (She can assimilate my arse any day)
3. Alyx - Half Life 2 (Damn...just...damn!)
4. Aries - Final Fantasy 7  (She's so nice and innocent, you just KNOW she's gonna be dirty in the bedroom ;) )
5. EVA + Tanya - C&C: RA2 (It was between her and Tanya, so fuck it, both at once! Here is a better pic of Tanya ;))
6. Jadzia Dax - Star trek: DS9 (She's always overlooked...also another strong woman)
7. Kane - Command & Conquer (He's just too cool, he can take me as much as he likes :D)
8. Jean Grey - X-Men (Because she's hot, smart AND it would piss of Cyclops)
9. Padme - Star Wars (Give Vader something to REALLY cry about. Pussy)
10. Yumi Francois - Tekkaman Blade II (Young. Innocent. Naive. Corruptable.)

Instead of tagging 5 people, I tag all of you. I'm still being a bastard :)

Thursday, 14 July 2005

everyone spam the hell out of this post, I want JFK to be at LEAST 5th Post-count-wise.

o_o
Today something odd happened.
While at work, we were heading out as usual to our destination (A place called Ballymena, a place where everyone has a squeaky high annoying voice) when the Driver, Harry, Gets a phone call. He's told to stop, apparently I was wanted somewhere o_o.
So we stop and wait. And another truck pulls up. A guy called Davey (Doot-doot) gets out and tells me to get into the one that pulled out. He took my place on Harry's truck.

And that was it really, for no reason what so ever, they made me swap with someone mid-run, which added about 30mins to our time, there was no reason for it either, Davey could have just as easily been on the run I was moved to and saved everyone a lot of bother. Someone in the office fucked up methinks.

On another note, I went shopping today. Not like I had a choice. Most of my clothes have been destroyed thanks to my Job (People are stupid and leave bottles filled with bleach in the boxes, which inevitably gets all over me as I throw them into the truck) so I had to get some new ones. Woo.
But while I was there, I took a look in Gamestop and seen Guild Wars for only £20. Not a bad deal, it's meant to be £30. And so what the hell, I bought it and you know what, it's bloody good.
No subscription either, bonus! Compared to World of Warcraft, Guild wars looks absolutely stunning.

This is World of Warcraft




This is Guild Wars



And believe me, that pic doesn't do it justice, you have to walk around the place and really admire the beauty of it.

So that was good, I'll be playing that lots I think. Also, since I have NO fashion sense, I had a friend with me and he decided to go to Game to see, since it's just around the corner from Gamestop (For those who don't know, Game is a...game store in the Uk, rival to Gamestop).
So we went in and he decided to buy Tekken 5, he also pointed out that Guild Wars was £15 more expensive.
So while at the counter, with the manager of this store himself serving us, I said in an almost deliberately out-loud voice "You know, Jim, I think Gamestop is a lot better than this place". Jim Fell Silent.
The manager gave me a dirty look and then said "Well if it's so good, then you wouldn't be shopping here then, would you?" and that's when I proclaimed "Well ACTUALLY, I Just bought Guild Wars from there for £15 cheaper".
The manager just grumbled while he served my friend.
Sometimes being a bastard is fun :D
Maybe I'm not that nice a guy after all.....

Wednesday, 13 July 2005

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last,
that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and
bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point.
This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean
on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open
doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside
the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys
that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their
female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most
girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with
open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in
honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to
her theology to her clothing style.



This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends
back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door,
for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of
the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for
compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by
the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who
are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being
boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated,
and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled,
and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.



This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone,
and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly
dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And
even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you
assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This
is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever
orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her
and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And
even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the
guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a
counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time
she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing
“serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you
knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you,
justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh,
but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a
symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice
like that.



The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps
more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they
should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t.
From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from
talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only
conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical,
manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice
guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational,
confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a
good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much
from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of
all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament
the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their
too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men
that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to
fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what
they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with
this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the
nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are
definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize
they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The
tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones
that are single.



So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice
guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself
described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the
world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of
doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker
for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, insane, absurd things you
tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless
hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you.
You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved
vindication is coming.



Repost this if you're a nice guy

Girls Repost if you're lookin for this/or appreciate these guys


Stoled from the lovley M'Chaela :)

Call me arrogant or big-headded, but I can understand everything this says

Monday, 11 July 2005

She left me! :(

I had the most wonderful woman in my life at my side, but as fast as she came, she left me :(
And to think, it all came from adding the wrong address!

You see, I went to add someone to MSN, but got the addy slightly wrong.
And instead, I found some woman from Japan. We hit it off from the start!

This is how it went:


Kushan: 6800 GT for the win! (Now Overclocked to 6800 Ultra levels)   says:
uhhh
Kushan: 6800 GT for the win! (Now Overclocked to 6800 Ultra levels)   says:
I don't suppose you speak English?
 
  ヒロミ has left the conversation.


She was playing hard to get.
 

Kushan: 6800 GT for the win! (Now Overclocked to 6800 Ultra levels)   says:
is that a no then?
Kushan: 6800 GT for the win! (Now Overclocked to 6800 Ultra levels)   says:
ah
Kushan: 6800 GT for the win! (Now Overclocked to 6800 Ultra levels)   says:
well if it is, you probably don't understand any of this...


So I reverted to dirty tactics! I went straight to babelfish! It would teach me how to charm the heart of this lovely lady!
I had this to say

Kushan: 6800 GT for the win! (Now Overclocked to 6800 Ultra levels)   says:
こんにちは、私の名前はスティーブである

Which translates to "Hello, My name is Steve".
I know how to charm the women ;)

ヒロミ says:
初めまして。私のアドはどうしてわかったのですか?

Success! she responded! I was so in there.
She said this, according to babelfish: "Beginning. Being why to be understood it does my adding?"#

Saucy little mynx! I could talk just as dirty to her.

Kushan: 6800 GT for the win! (Now Overclocked to 6800 Ultra levels)   says:
それは間違いだった
Kushan: 6800 GT for the win! (Now Overclocked to 6800 Ultra levels)   says:
私の友人にあなたに同じような住所がある
Kushan: 6800 GT for the win! (Now Overclocked to 6800 Ultra levels)   says:
私はこの意味を、私使用しているこの用具を成していることを望む

What I said was, "It was a mistake", "A friend of mine has a similar address to you", "I hope this makes sense"

  ヒロミ has left the conversation.


That bitch! So it's like that, is it? Well I gave her a piece of my mind!
 
Kushan: 6800 GT for the win! (Now Overclocked to 6800 Ultra levels)   says:
私は迷惑を掛けることを意味しなかった

Translated: "I didn't mean to annoy you"

ヒロミ says:
全然ですよ!誰でも間違えがあるので気にしないで下さい。
ヒロミ says:
全然知らない方からだったので、ビックリしました。では又機会がありましたら・・・。
 
  ヒロミ has left the conversation.

Translation: "At all is! Being to be making a mistake anyone please do not make the air.", "Because it was from the one which is not known at all, you were surprised. When so and there is an opportunity...."

It was love, I could feel it! But I had to tell her the truth....
 
Kushan: 6800 GT for the win! (Now Overclocked to 6800 Ultra levels)   says:
私はアイルランドからあり、言う何を悩みの理解を有している
Kushan: 6800 GT for the win! (Now Overclocked to 6800 Ultra levels)   says:
により違反を引き起こせば、私はそれを意味しない
 
I told her, "I am from Ireland and I am having trouble understanding you", "If I cause offence, it is not intended"


  ヒロミ has left the conversation.


And Just like that, it was over. Despite all that we had been through, she threw it all back in my face, that bitch! I'm gonna need some time to get over her :(

EDIT: I have been reliably informed that the lovely lady in question is called "Hiromi" :)

Thursday, 7 July 2005

So...

Lois has gone on Holiday.
Lois is the girl I love. Lois is an amazing woman. Lois is not going to Liverpool.

You see everyone, as much as I love this woman, I have to face the fact that I'm pissing off in about 2 months.
Not only that, but Lois has her own plans, she's going to Canada eventually and I can't say I blame her, it sounds like a really nice place.

It wont work, as much as I'd want to be with her for a long time, it jsut wont happen.
But I don't feel...bitter...or angry about it. Just a little sad. But still.
I have no idea what will happen in the future, heck I could win the lottery tomorrow and all of my problems will be solved...well actually that's a lie, I don't buy lottery tickets, but you know what I mean.
But hey...we'll see what happens. Until then, I'm looking slightly differently into the future, definately a lot more positively, which feels good for a change.

I'll miss her for the next 2 weeks, but I'm not going to let it get me down, because I know she'll be back.
And I know that no matter what heppens, she'll always be around somewhere, just that somewhere might be on the other side of the planet lol
But really, she's a reminder that there are good people out there, people I can appreciate, people I can feel close to, people I can love. And that's what matters.

I hope she has fun :)

Tuesday, 5 July 2005

Kushan: If I didn't know any better...
Kushan: I'd say I was...not-so-slowly...falling in love...
???????l: i think im the same

Guess what folks, ol' Kushan has gone and fallen in love....again.....
(And no, it's not Stocky. Or Sarah.)

I really gotta stop making a habbit of this, but at least this one is both single AND lives nearby....for now.....>_<

EDIT: And yeah...she's great :)