Can't say much really happened today, not even at school, was pretty boring actually, half of the teachers are away on some school trip to Lourds for the week, which means most of my time at school is spent in the study hall. Which is a bit misleading as we do practically no studying there what-so-ever, everyone justs sits there talking and listening to music and occasionally throwing things out the window (It's 4 floors up) at any unfortunate person who passes by...
Anyhoo, a friend of mine sent me this link earlier, I recommend you only click it if you're feeling adventurous and have a strong stomach: http://adorablebunnies.com/NEW%20MODEL/ Duno why I bothered warning you, you clicked it anyway, didn't you? Tut tut :P
Speaking of friends, a few of my friends at school happen to have found this, my journal, so they now know about the whole situation with me and Michelle and David, and their reaction? Well....pretty good actually, they keep calling me "da" (Which means dad for the unacquainted) which is bound to confuse the hell out of people, (but then, that's always fun :D) but they've taken it quite well, been fairly supportive too, which I wasn't expecting, but there you go, so it's all good.
Wednesday, 8 October 2003
Tuesday, 7 October 2003
Getting back to normality...
Well, things seem to be getting back to normal..well, normal as in, no one is constantly bothering me about Michelle, and I'm pretty damn happy, so it's all good!:D
Although, Panther is still acting like a jerk, but not just towards me or Michelle, but everyone in general, if he doesn't stop soon, he'll just be seen as another ACK, someone who has good skills at something (In his case, making site layouts, but is basically a big-headed aggravating bastard.
Oh oh, speaking of ACK, he got bitchy on the forum at renevo today cuz people said "skin" instead of "texture" and after a bit of arguing, dante pwned him, hehe, check it out for a bit of a laff: http://www.renevo.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=852
Nozzy has been having computer problems for the past few months now, it keeps freezing on him, so he couldn't play any games or anything. He's tried all sorts of stuff to fix it, from updating the BIOS to buying a new GFX card, yet it all didn't work. Today, he finally decided to PAY someone to come out and have a look at it. You know what the problem was? The problem Nozzy couldn't figure out? The problem that drove him insane for months? Dust. That's right, he had too much dust on his heatsink....I'll let you think what you want on that one....
Anyway, in general, things are good, but I'm tired, so I'm off to bed, good night all.
Although, Panther is still acting like a jerk, but not just towards me or Michelle, but everyone in general, if he doesn't stop soon, he'll just be seen as another ACK, someone who has good skills at something (In his case, making site layouts, but is basically a big-headed aggravating bastard.
Oh oh, speaking of ACK, he got bitchy on the forum at renevo today cuz people said "skin" instead of "texture" and after a bit of arguing, dante pwned him, hehe, check it out for a bit of a laff: http://www.renevo.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=852
Nozzy has been having computer problems for the past few months now, it keeps freezing on him, so he couldn't play any games or anything. He's tried all sorts of stuff to fix it, from updating the BIOS to buying a new GFX card, yet it all didn't work. Today, he finally decided to PAY someone to come out and have a look at it. You know what the problem was? The problem Nozzy couldn't figure out? The problem that drove him insane for months? Dust. That's right, he had too much dust on his heatsink....I'll let you think what you want on that one....
Anyway, in general, things are good, but I'm tired, so I'm off to bed, good night all.
Monday, 6 October 2003
It never rains....but it pisses down....
Well, there WAS a pretty good reason for me not updating last night, but I'm not going to reveal it here, lets just say it's yet another one of my problems to add to the list.
Although, I think all that crap with people having problems with me and Michelle is finally over with, spinkychan realised how I feel, Nozzy stopped days ago, and finally, Darkblade agreed to stop as well, I think he sort of sees my point of view now, so that's THAT out of the way...I hope...
And no matter how crappy I feel, or how many problems I've got (Yes, yes, you all know what's coming), Michelle always manages to make me feel happy, and I love her for that.
Anyway, on with the day...
Did some colouring-in in Biology today, why? Not exactly sure, but I'm willing to bet it was cuz the teacher ad a hangover and didn't want to teach us, actually, it kind of makes sense when I put it like that. Ah well, 'twas fun being back at primary school for a while...
Not much at all else happened, still pissed about last night, but I can't really do anything about that, oh well, as Long as I have Michelle, it doesn't really matter:)
Although, I think all that crap with people having problems with me and Michelle is finally over with, spinkychan realised how I feel, Nozzy stopped days ago, and finally, Darkblade agreed to stop as well, I think he sort of sees my point of view now, so that's THAT out of the way...I hope...
And no matter how crappy I feel, or how many problems I've got (Yes, yes, you all know what's coming), Michelle always manages to make me feel happy, and I love her for that.
Anyway, on with the day...
Did some colouring-in in Biology today, why? Not exactly sure, but I'm willing to bet it was cuz the teacher ad a hangover and didn't want to teach us, actually, it kind of makes sense when I put it like that. Ah well, 'twas fun being back at primary school for a while...
Not much at all else happened, still pissed about last night, but I can't really do anything about that, oh well, as Long as I have Michelle, it doesn't really matter:)
Saturday, 4 October 2003
Time to catch up...
Well, not much really happened today, most exciting thing was me and Darkblade having a little fight over the comments section of last nights post, check it out if you're bored.
Since not much happened today, It'll give me time to update you all on the past few days events which I couldn't tell you about because of other things.
Well, I had a nice surprise on friday. One of my teachers complained that my work in class wasn't good enough to my yearhead. Of course, he never mentioned a thing to me about it, as far as I knew, my work was just as good as everyone else's. To make matters worse, my yearhead called my dad into the school to consult him on this matter. Once again, I wasn't told a thing about it, so now my dad is pretty pissed at me and is turning into a study nazi, which kinda blows, cuz I would have studied harder anyway had I known that there was a problem, but oh no, I guess some people get some sick sense of pleasure form getting kids into trouble with their parents when there's no need to.
Then of course all that crap with Darkblade, panther and all didn't help matters much, but I'm not gonig to go on about them, I'm sick of them as it is.
In fact, I'm pretty pissed off still, they put me in a position where I had to make a choice between my friends and the one I love and with a situation like that, you just can't win, I've made my decision to go with Michelle, and I know it's the right one, because she alone has made me feel happier than everyone else put together, but still, it's kinda sad losing friends...
They're saying that I'm going to get hurt by being with Michelle, but I don't think they've realized that by saying that, and by them saying the things they have said, THEY were the ones that hurt me, not her. But alas, nothing good can ever happen in Kushan's life without something bad to balance it off...
Since not much happened today, It'll give me time to update you all on the past few days events which I couldn't tell you about because of other things.
Well, I had a nice surprise on friday. One of my teachers complained that my work in class wasn't good enough to my yearhead. Of course, he never mentioned a thing to me about it, as far as I knew, my work was just as good as everyone else's. To make matters worse, my yearhead called my dad into the school to consult him on this matter. Once again, I wasn't told a thing about it, so now my dad is pretty pissed at me and is turning into a study nazi, which kinda blows, cuz I would have studied harder anyway had I known that there was a problem, but oh no, I guess some people get some sick sense of pleasure form getting kids into trouble with their parents when there's no need to.
Then of course all that crap with Darkblade, panther and all didn't help matters much, but I'm not gonig to go on about them, I'm sick of them as it is.
In fact, I'm pretty pissed off still, they put me in a position where I had to make a choice between my friends and the one I love and with a situation like that, you just can't win, I've made my decision to go with Michelle, and I know it's the right one, because she alone has made me feel happier than everyone else put together, but still, it's kinda sad losing friends...
They're saying that I'm going to get hurt by being with Michelle, but I don't think they've realized that by saying that, and by them saying the things they have said, THEY were the ones that hurt me, not her. But alas, nothing good can ever happen in Kushan's life without something bad to balance it off...
Friday, 3 October 2003
Time for some explaining....
Ok, it appears that a lot of people got one hell of a wrong idea about last nights post, so i'm gonna try to clarify things a little.
For a start, I have no plans of leaving to live with michelle or anything, far from it. In fact, some of you seemed to have it in your head that we were going to get married or something, I mean, c'mon guys, seriously.
Fact is, not much in my life is going to change for now, all it means is that if/when Michelle's son asks about his dad, Michelle doesn't have to tell him that he has no dad, instead, she can say that his dad, who loves his mum very very much, just lives far away, isn't that better?
And in the future, when me and Michelle do get together properly, he will have a dad, not some random Irish stranger guy who hangs around with his mum a lot.
To be honest, I don't care if you understand me or not, I don't care if you feel I'm wrong, that's your opinion, but you people, those who read my journal, you are my friends, and as friends, you should be glad I'm happy, and no matter what I decide to do, you should be there for me, you should back me up, not corner me and tell me how wrong I am, or how upset YOU are that I'm not around as much as I used to be, or that I act differently. I may act differently, but it's because I'm happy, very happy, and if you don't like that, if you don't like how I'm acting now, then you may as well be saying that you don't like me being happy, and if you say that, you're not much of a friend.
I'm not asking that everyone pats me on the pack and tells me I'm doing the right thing, because I know most of you think I'm badly mistaken, all I'm asking is that you respect my decisions in life, and not criticize them.
If this is sounding familiar to you, it's because I've said it all before, many many times, but people like panther are too self-centered to actually read it, it just doesn't seem to dawn on them that I'm happy with Michelle, very very happy, and just because they had a better time with me before I met her, I'm not going to change a thing for them, because she is more important to me.
Some people are saying that I'm starting to get too serious, well, they're right, because I am serious, serious about Michelle, more serious than I've ever been in my life, and maybe if those of you who have a problem with that left me alone about it, I wouldn't have to stay so serious all of the time...
For a start, I have no plans of leaving to live with michelle or anything, far from it. In fact, some of you seemed to have it in your head that we were going to get married or something, I mean, c'mon guys, seriously.
Fact is, not much in my life is going to change for now, all it means is that if/when Michelle's son asks about his dad, Michelle doesn't have to tell him that he has no dad, instead, she can say that his dad, who loves his mum very very much, just lives far away, isn't that better?
And in the future, when me and Michelle do get together properly, he will have a dad, not some random Irish stranger guy who hangs around with his mum a lot.
To be honest, I don't care if you understand me or not, I don't care if you feel I'm wrong, that's your opinion, but you people, those who read my journal, you are my friends, and as friends, you should be glad I'm happy, and no matter what I decide to do, you should be there for me, you should back me up, not corner me and tell me how wrong I am, or how upset YOU are that I'm not around as much as I used to be, or that I act differently. I may act differently, but it's because I'm happy, very happy, and if you don't like that, if you don't like how I'm acting now, then you may as well be saying that you don't like me being happy, and if you say that, you're not much of a friend.
I'm not asking that everyone pats me on the pack and tells me I'm doing the right thing, because I know most of you think I'm badly mistaken, all I'm asking is that you respect my decisions in life, and not criticize them.
If this is sounding familiar to you, it's because I've said it all before, many many times, but people like panther are too self-centered to actually read it, it just doesn't seem to dawn on them that I'm happy with Michelle, very very happy, and just because they had a better time with me before I met her, I'm not going to change a thing for them, because she is more important to me.
Some people are saying that I'm starting to get too serious, well, they're right, because I am serious, serious about Michelle, more serious than I've ever been in my life, and maybe if those of you who have a problem with that left me alone about it, I wouldn't have to stay so serious all of the time...
Thursday, 2 October 2003
Wow......
"Wow"...that's one of many words I could use to describe what happened today.
Lets see, may as well begin at the start, argued the bit out with Tox, we finally agreed on the outcome, read the comments for the previous post if you care about that.
Then, I was given a test today, although I wasn't told I was taking it at the time.
Michelle tried to give me some money through my Paypal account, and I more or less blatantly refused, taking other people's cash is something I've never liked doing. Apparently, that was just a test that her dad put her up to, to see if I was after her for her cash, well, I passed, so that's that out of the way. We then had fun playing some CS, she convinced me to install it again, we had a lot of fun, we're pretty evenly matched I thought, although she thinks otherwise lol.
But...wow..., that wasn't the half of it, oh no.
Michelle kinda popped a question today, something I tried to not think about before, but she asked anyway. Y'see, Michelle has a son, say what you will about that, but unless you know the full truth to any story, you shouldn't judge anyone, keep that in mind.
Anyway, today she asked...she asked how I would feel about becoming a father....a dad...she more or less asked me if I wanted the Job...and...well...I accepted...
To everyone who reads this journal, to everyone who is curious about my life, to my friends, to those who care about me, and to those who I care about, I let you know, I am going to become a dad, and for once in my life, I'm serious, more serious than I've ever been about anything ever. I may have changed before, I may have been the same all along, who knows, but at the prospect of becoming a dad, there's no way I could say that I'll ever be the same again, but it doesn't matter, because for once in my life, I know exactly what I'm doing.
I'll admit, I'm a little scared by the thought of it all but I'm also touched that Michelle thinks I'd make a good dad, she ment more than anything else to me before, and somehow, she means even more to me now. Now I've got 2 people to love, two people to care for, but more than that, I've got a family...
Lets see, may as well begin at the start, argued the bit out with Tox, we finally agreed on the outcome, read the comments for the previous post if you care about that.
Then, I was given a test today, although I wasn't told I was taking it at the time.
Michelle tried to give me some money through my Paypal account, and I more or less blatantly refused, taking other people's cash is something I've never liked doing. Apparently, that was just a test that her dad put her up to, to see if I was after her for her cash, well, I passed, so that's that out of the way. We then had fun playing some CS, she convinced me to install it again, we had a lot of fun, we're pretty evenly matched I thought, although she thinks otherwise lol.
But...wow..., that wasn't the half of it, oh no.
Michelle kinda popped a question today, something I tried to not think about before, but she asked anyway. Y'see, Michelle has a son, say what you will about that, but unless you know the full truth to any story, you shouldn't judge anyone, keep that in mind.
Anyway, today she asked...she asked how I would feel about becoming a father....a dad...she more or less asked me if I wanted the Job...and...well...I accepted...
To everyone who reads this journal, to everyone who is curious about my life, to my friends, to those who care about me, and to those who I care about, I let you know, I am going to become a dad, and for once in my life, I'm serious, more serious than I've ever been about anything ever. I may have changed before, I may have been the same all along, who knows, but at the prospect of becoming a dad, there's no way I could say that I'll ever be the same again, but it doesn't matter, because for once in my life, I know exactly what I'm doing.
I'll admit, I'm a little scared by the thought of it all but I'm also touched that Michelle thinks I'd make a good dad, she ment more than anything else to me before, and somehow, she means even more to me now. Now I've got 2 people to love, two people to care for, but more than that, I've got a family...
Wednesday, 1 October 2003
I've changed......somehow?
According to quite a lot of people, I ahve changed recently, aparantly, I'm "not as fun" and I've somehow lost my sense of humour, and that I'm more Steve than Kushan and blah fucking blah, Y'know, I was having a really bad day up until that point, I mean, I had a shit day at school, came home to find My PC is on it's last legs (Took 3 restarts just to get the fucking mouse to work after a BSoD) and when I finally get it working, I come online to find that everyone is saying I'm not the smae, I'm different and how I don't amuse them as much as I used to, and how I'm getting too serious and blah blah blah, that just really made my day, thank you everyone for making my day just that little bit more shitty than it needed to be, thank you very much.
Oh and because I had a lot of shit on my mind, some of it because I'm now supposadly a different person, I wanted to have some time by myelf to think, just think, about me, and what happens? Tox gets all moody and bitchy and now he's pissed off at me cuz I wanted some time to think, about myself, but Nooo, that's not good enough for Him, he wanted me to hang around to amuse him as usual, after all, I'm just his jolly happy little irish fellow that's just there for other people's amusement, well I'm fucking sorry that I wanted some time alone, I'm SORRY that for once I decided to think of myself instead of looking out for everyone else like usual, I'm SORRY that I decided that for once, I wanted something for myself, I'm just SORRY that whatever thh hell I did that you didn't like wasn't acceptable, I will try not to do it again for fear of upsetting you agian...
In fact, the only good thing left for me at the moment is Michelle, if it wasn't for her, I seriuosly would have flipped at some people today.
And before any of you start blabbing on about how this shows that I'm all serious, YOU put yourself in MY position and then YOU try to act like a happy chappy, over the past few days, I've been happier than I've ever been, and I'm basically being told that it's not good enough for EVERYONE ELSE!! fuck that! and just for badness, I'm not spellchecking this. Good fucking night.
Oh and because I had a lot of shit on my mind, some of it because I'm now supposadly a different person, I wanted to have some time by myelf to think, just think, about me, and what happens? Tox gets all moody and bitchy and now he's pissed off at me cuz I wanted some time to think, about myself, but Nooo, that's not good enough for Him, he wanted me to hang around to amuse him as usual, after all, I'm just his jolly happy little irish fellow that's just there for other people's amusement, well I'm fucking sorry that I wanted some time alone, I'm SORRY that for once I decided to think of myself instead of looking out for everyone else like usual, I'm SORRY that I decided that for once, I wanted something for myself, I'm just SORRY that whatever thh hell I did that you didn't like wasn't acceptable, I will try not to do it again for fear of upsetting you agian...
In fact, the only good thing left for me at the moment is Michelle, if it wasn't for her, I seriuosly would have flipped at some people today.
And before any of you start blabbing on about how this shows that I'm all serious, YOU put yourself in MY position and then YOU try to act like a happy chappy, over the past few days, I've been happier than I've ever been, and I'm basically being told that it's not good enough for EVERYONE ELSE!! fuck that! and just for badness, I'm not spellchecking this. Good fucking night.
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