I am Kushan's neglected Livejournal.

You know, every time I go to type Livejournal, I always end up typing Liverjournal. Imagine that, a journal about someone's Liver.
I suppose it'd make a lot of sense, the liver of an alcoholic would be an emo and constantly want to just give up and every now and then just trying to pack it all in to spite the body around it.

But I digress. I feel the need to rant, but I've got a lot to rant about so I'm not really sure if I can be bothered at all. Oh what the hell, why not!

I just watched Evan Almighty, the sequel to the Jim Carey film, Bruce almighty.
I'd seen Bruce almighty years ago and was distinctly not impressed. I'm not a big Jim Carey fan anyway and this was probably the worst film of his I'd ever seen, and that includes Batman forever. It has a really good concept, God gives the guy all of his powers and he dicks about with them. Really good concept, plenty of scope...except instead of being interesting, it just consists of him being a knob and not actually doing very much, plus a bunch of religious Christian bullshit is thrown in for good measure.

Evan Almighty sort of took that formula, except they didn't bother with an interesting concept (God wants Evan to build an Ark...omg amazing...), doubled on the religious bullshit, then sprinkled some extra bullshit on top for good measure.
Really there's about 2 parts to the film, part 1 is God convincing Evan to build the Ark, part 2 is him actually building it. Once part 1 is over (about 1/3 of the way into the film), all of the fun and attempts at humour end. The fun parts are where random animals start following him around. And that's the entirety of the jokes in the film, they actually haven't got another single good gag in the whole thing, so they just reuse the animal gag over and over and over. By half way through the film, they even stop with that and just keep hammering you with more religious shite.

It's a fairly typical plot for Christians - God wants Evan to build Ark, Even eventually gives in and starts building it and everyone around him ridicules him for it, not a single person supports him (other than his loving, christian family, that is). Crowds gather, people mock him more and refer to God as "your God", because all Christians believe that non-Christians worship a different God. Oh but of course, a big flood DOES appear and everyone goes all red in the face for being wrong, while the good God-worshiping people were right the whole time!
Now I'm not religious at all, I don't believe in God and thanks to the enlightening facts I've learned in my new Job, I find it very hard to believe that there's anyone up there who gives a flying fuck about anyone down here, so I don't really like having this kind of shit forced down my throat. The whole point of the film is to try and give across one simple message, you can change the world with an Act of Random Kindness (They really had to think long and fucking hard on that one, eh?), which isn't really a bad message or anything, but they probably pissed more people off by taking the "haha, God is always right and if you Mock us, he'll make a fool out of you" approach that so many up-their-own-arses Christian fuckwits take. You think you're on the "winning team", you think people like me will end up with egg on our faces when we find out how wrong we have been all along, we get it already, so just shut the fuck up already and laugh when we actually ARE proved wrong, it's old, nobody cares, nobody thinks you're smart and it just makes you look like a dick, but then again you probably ARE a dick.

Now I can be a self-obsessed cock, myself. Just the other day, I went to the toilet and thought to myself "you know, my piss looks pretty good...for piss, at least", but it doesn't mean I go around saying to people "hey my piss is better than your piss, next time you go to the toilet, just think, your piss is horrible and nasty looking, it's all dark and diseased looking, whereas mine is a nice light shade of yellow, like home made lemonade, probably tastes just as good as well". That's how these Christian cocks come across, they love the smell of their own piss and want to rub everyone's nose in it so we get the full fragrance.

Cocks.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, don't watch Evan Almighty, it's full of Christian piss.