This year is one second longer

This is a public service announcement. It's officially New Year's Eve in the UK and that means it's officially New Year's Eve worldwide (GMT being the centre of the planet and all that), so I feel it's prudent to inform people that 2008 will officially be one second longer than usual.

Before you scream "Nooo, Kushan! You've been at the Domestos Bleach again, haven't you?", have a quick glance at this article on WikiWikiWikiPediaWikiYoWikiWikiWaaWaa.

For those of you who can't be arsed reading the source of all human knowledge, all you need to know is that 2008 needs to be 1 second longer in order to keep time closely syncronised with the earth's orbit. 1 second after 23:59:59 isn't actually 2009, it's officially 23:59:60. One second after that, you can start celebrating the new year (legitimately) all you like, but if you shout "Happy New Year!" at 23:59:60, you're officially silly.

So, when the countdown starts, remember, it does not go...

3-2-1-HappyNewYearMotherFuckers!

but rather, it goes...

3-2-1-0-HappyNewYearMotherFuckers!

You've now been informed, so don't make a fool out of yourself this year, save it for next year. Which is 1 second further away than you probably realised.

Guess what?!

The experiment was a roaring success! Or an absolute failure, I'm not entirely sure which.

You'll like this.

Ok, so before I continue I'd like to point out that I haven't actually said more than two words to BQFH since I got back. In fact, last year I didn't speak to her at all, so effectively I've not spoken to her for a solid 2 years.

Tonight is Christmas Eve. As is traditional, we tend to get a small group of family and maybe the odd friend and get together for a drink and some food, you know, just a nice little way to bring on Christmas. Typical fare.

So, my dad basically spent the whole day preparing lots of buffet-style food. You know, cocktail sausages, sausage rolls, etc.
He was so busy, in fact, that I had to go and do some of his last-minute Christmas shopping for him. Shopping which included expensive chocolates and drinks for BQFH. Wanting to be the good son, I went and did this, despite the fact that shopping on Christmas Eve is not fun.
Anyhoo, fast forward to later on that night. Everything's prepared and ready and we make our way down to BQFH's house. It's approximately 20:45 when we arrive.
About 15mins later, the food has been heated and it's time to eat, score! Note that at this point, all I've said to pretty much anyone is "Hello".
Everyone moves to get some food, I sort of hang back because the kitchen isn't terribly large and let everyone get out of the way. It's finally my turn and I pick up a small side-plate to put some food on.
Now, have you ever picked up a plate, or a fork, or a cup or whatever only to find that it's not completely clean? It's not the owner being dirty, it's just a spot someone's missed when cleaning it or whatever. No big deal, right? Well the only plate left was a tiny bit dirty, so I gave it a quick rinse and a wipe.
Now I'm left with a slightly damp plate so I figure I'd best wipe it dry with a cloth. I can't see any and by this point, the only person left in the kitchen is the lady herself. I ask her where she keeps her towels. "Why?" comes the response. "Oh the plate was a wee bit dirty, so I gave it a clean and now I just need to dry it", I responds.

This is what sets her off. I shit you not, this tiny statement is what set her off on a complete screaming rampage. She pulls the plate from my hand, shouting "ACK! It's not dirty, I cleaned that! My house is not dirty!" before slamming it on the counter. She storms off, shouting and screaming about how I'm doing everything I can to ruin her Christmas and so on and so forth.

My dad came out and looked at me "...what did you say to her?" and I respond with "...I asked her for a tea-towell...", at which point she comes back shouting about how I siad her whole house was dirty and filthy.
My dad ran after her as she went upstairs to try and figure out what happened. Shortly after they came down, he was shouting at her about how she was blowing it way out of proportion (yey dad for sticking up for me! =D) and she literally told us all to get out.
So we did. We all stormed out and left her there. On Christmas Eve.
We were back home by 21:15. Even my dad said that she must have been waiting for me to say something so she could have a go at me. I think that's actually a new record for her, I couldn't have been there more than 20mins before she went off. Oh and she claims that she didn't do a single thing wrong at my brother's wedding. What a bitch.

Oh...and Merry Christmas, everyone.

A proper Update

For those that haven't figured it out, I'm back in Ireland again for chrsitmas. Last year I stayed with my brother so this year I figured I'd see my Dad since I'm sure he misses his sons.
As usual the place is cold and I'm perpetually bored, but at least I get to see my cat and my dad again.

Of course, as you may have guessed, BQFH is up to her old tricks again. It's really annoying, I've not even seen her since I got back and already she's saying shite about me. In a way, I'm pissed off, but I'm also quite happy knowing that I STILL get under her skin after all this time - and without me even being there.

However, this year I'm going to perform a little experiment. My dad and I just went shopping for the christmas meal. You know the drill, turkey, ham, gravy, etc., basically the most expensive meal of the year. Well this year I decided to pay for it, all £50 of it. I can just about afford it and it'll be worth it to see BQFH struggle for a reason to complain about me.
I'm fully confident that she'll find said reason and have a moan and at this point, I'll be more than prepared to sacrafice the turkey by shoving it up her moany old arse.

I'm going to enjoy this Christmas one way or another.

I have to say....

I'm more than a little disappointed in a certain someone. I'm sure she knows who she is.

Merry Christmas indeed...

(Deliberately enigmatic so that the guilty don't get more embarrassed than they've already made themselves)

On another note, BQFH (BitchQueenFromHell, aka, my Dad's girlfriend, for the uninformed) apparently told someone that I've ruined every Christmas. Go fuck yourself, you miserable old cunt.

For the Cause!

http://www.ultimaterickroll.com/

The Ultimate Rick Roll is a plan devised by the owner of a facebook group to get RICK ASTLEY to the Christmas No.1 spot this year!

HOW?

Join us all in pledging to purchase 'Never Gonna Give You Up' from iTunes between DECEMBER 15-20th... even if you already own it.

If enough of us do this, there's a real fighting chance we could actually pull this off!

Even I went and bought the song and I never buy music! So those of you from the UK with 80p to spare, go spend it on a worthy cause!

10 reasons why men are lazy:

1)

Dear Women

When you asked me to do it, I said I would. Your non response I took as implied agreement.

At no stage were timescales discussed. If I havent done it, it's because I havent done it yet.

Regards

Men.

Yeah man, I tell ya what, man, that dang ol’ internet, man, you just go in on there and point and click, talk about w-w-dot-w-com, mean you got nekkid chicks on there, man, just go click, click, click, click, click, it’s real easy, man.

I win at CAKE!

The problem with LJ: we all think we are so close, but really, we know nothing about each other.

So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about.

Ask away.

Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you!

In other news, it was a good friend of mine's birthday earlier this week, so I baked them a cake.







I am quite pleased as to how it turned out. It didn't last long before everyone had their way with it. Probably a good sign.
Apologies for the crap picture quality. Stupid Phone.

Hello, my dear stalker.

Would you believe it? Someone is stalking me. Some crazy fool has been searching for any and all traces of me on the interwebs and seeing what I've been up to for the last year or so. How mad is that?

Well, not as mad as this. I've made a little game for my little stalker to play.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, ignore the link because you'll not have a clue what to do, but if you're my stalker, I'm sure you'll figure it all out ;)

So then, shall we play a game?

I'd just like to say...

...things are calm. I am glad of this. Aside from the fact that it's my final year at uni and in about 6months time (if not sooner) I'll be absolutely shitting myself, I am good.

I remember....

...a time when Livejournal was cool.

Due to popular demand...

something

Sometimes...

I wonder why my life is so surreal at times.

Metal gear! No, it can't be!

Or CAN it?

I just finished Metal Gear Solid 4. I am fairly sure it's the best game I've ever played. At least this decade.

That is all.

w00t!

Deepest Sender works with Fierfox 3!
Yeeey!

Maybe I'll update more often now. Maybe.

ULTRALAWL!!!!!

SO, how many of you have heard of Uwe Boll?
For those of you who are unaware, he's pretty much the sole reason why games tend to make shitty films, because he's the one that's actually made most of these game films. And they suck. A lot.

Well, someone recently started a petition to get him to stop. Just stop, because nobody likes his films. And he said if it reached 1,000,000 signatures, he'd quit for good.
That was 3 days ago. It's now at 200,000 signatures and counting.

To make matters even funnier, he made this video where he proclaims he's the only genius in the whole industry. He also asked his "fans" to start a counter-petition, that currently has a MASSIVE 3,500 signatures.
He got one thing right, though, Michael Bay is a complete cunt, but that's beside the point.

The point is he's a complete cunt that makes lots of really shitty films that nobody watches and if you've got any sense, you'll sign the petition as well.

Long, long, long overdue update.

I neglect this LJ far too much these days. Perhaps when Deepest Sender updates to support firefox 3, I'll update more. Until then, here's a little general update on what's been going on with my life.

I no longer work for Telcogames. The company was going bust (not my fault, I swear!) and I had to find new employment. Luckily there's another company in the same building that needed people. The company is making some Wii games at the moment, but they also have PS2 and PS3 dev kits. I'm currently working on a piece of shovelware for the Wii, so look out for that in future ;D

It was my 21st a little under two weeks ago. Yey me.

Also, some of you may have been aware the problem I had with the old landlord from the place I was living at during the summer. Everything was fine until around October when she went a little psycho on me. After a bit of fighting and debate, I finally moved out of there just before Christmas into a much better place. One problem, though - the bitch didn't want to return my £150 deposit. Bitch.
3 months after moving out, I hadn't heard a word from her. I then phoned her up and put the shits up her. She said she'd get back to me. She didn't. A week later I text her asking what's going on. She replies telling me I'm simply not getting my deposit back. Bitch.
I do some research and find out that what she's done is actually quite illegal. I put the shits up her again. She offers me £75. I tell her that's not good enough. She says she'll see me in court.
I go to citizen's advice, they give me a letter to send off to the landlord. I send it. 3 days later I get a cheque in the post for £150. Result!

Word to the wise, folks - don't fuck with the Irish =D

And now for some bad news. How many of you remember Uber? My PC. My baby. Well, Uber has passed on. Sort of.

Uber is alive and well, but I have upgraded to a new system! A bigger system. A faster system. A custom-builT monstrosity that somehow ended up quieter and cooler than Uber.

Here's the specs:
# Processor - Intel Quad Core (That's right, 4 processor cores) Q9300
# Operating System - Vista Ultimate x64 + XP Professional x86 (When I can be arsed installing it)
# Memory - 4096MB DDR2 RAM
# Video Card - nVidia Geforce 9800 GTX
# Hard Disk - 2x 750Gb HDD's (That's right, folks, 1.5Tb of space!)
# Optical - Dual layer 20x DVD+/-RW with Lightscribe
# Network - 10/100/1000 Gigabit Ethernet
# Card Reader - In the post
# Sound - 7.1 + separate 2.0 Channel sound output
# Ports etc. - 8x USB2 ports on the back + 2 more on the front

In case you're unsure just how powerful that is, here's a helpful guide - Vista has it's own benchmarking thingy in it. It rates each component of your PC's performance and gives it a number. 1.0 means it's pretty shit and wont really do much. 5.9 is the maximum and means you pretty much can't do much better. The whole system then gets a rating based on your lowest score. So if you have everything at 5 but one component at 3, your system gets a rating at 3 (theory being that the slowest component will be a bottleneck).

Well, here's the results:



So as you can see, it's a pretty beefy machine. Even Crysis has trouble slowing it down.

And what have I christened this absolute beast?

Oriax

Not that I've updated in a while anyway...

For those who are unaware, the current Overloads of Livejournal want to change the whole system. They want to remove free accounts and they want to censor a lot of journals. The removing of free accounts is just money-grabbing bastardry, if you ask me, but the censoring is a joke. This is the internet, you can't censor it, don't even try.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, apparently people are having  "protest" by not using the site on friday. I suggest everyone join in, or you might find some of your posts disappearing in the future without an explanation why.



For this to really work, everyone would need to avoid the site completely, so I suggest you all get merry on friday (Have a good day....get it?), so much so that you can't even pronounce "internet".
And spread the word. Or something.

I am Legend

Well, I just finished watching "I am Legend". As you may have noticed, it's 6am here. I started watching the film at about 2am. It's taken me 4 hours to watch this film because it's so damn boring, I kept getting distracted by other things, like browsing websites, chatting on MSN, selecting a lot of text with ctrl+a and deselecting it repeatedly, you get the idea.

So if you haven't figured it out yet, the film isn't very exciting.

The premise of the story is basically that someone developed a cure for cancer that somehow mutated into some big nasty virus that wipes out the world's population, bar a few lucky people who happen to be immune (i.e. Will Smith) and he's the only survivor. The rest of the living humans go a bit 28-days-later and become zombies that eat human flesh, except they also burn under UV light. So they're basically a mixture of Zombies and Vampires, with none of their strengths and all of their weaknesses. Lovely.
Anyway, the premise isn't actually all that bad and there's plenty of scope for deep and meaningful plot devices there, if you've read the book or seen the last film based on it, The Omega Man, you'll know what I mean.
The film basically consists of two parts -

Part A:

Nothing happens. Really. You're introduced to our main character and we spend the first half of the film watching him fannying around not doing very much. I've yet to decide which was the most exciting bit, the part where he played golf, or the part where he went to rent a DVD (No, really).
Perhaps this was inevitable, after all he's the only person in the city at this point and there's not really a lot you can do with that, plus it's more or less what happens in the first part of the book it's based on.

Speaking of, I should point out that this is another typical Will-smith-doing-a-remake-of-a-previous-book-and-or-film affair in that it completely ignores the very thing it's based on, except for a few minor things, like the title for example.
 
Anyway, as I said, not much really happens up until the half way point when will finds a mannequin outside that really shouldn't be there.
At this point, he goes nuts and shoots at it, then shoots all around himself for good measure, just to get the "I've got a little crazy" point across. Then, he walks up to the mannequin and trips a trap that causes him to get stuck upside down and (somehow) unconscious.
And there he remains until he wakes up at the brink of nightfall, oh noes.

I'd like to take a little time to point out that the reason for the mannequin being there, or who set the trap, is never actually explained. Ever. Those of you who are a little savvy will probably assume that it was the zombie-vampire humans that set it and if this were the book, you'd probably be right. But it's not the book, it's a dumbed-down remake for thicko Americans. Anyway, this causes his one and only companion, a dog, to get infected, causing him to get a bit annoyed, which leads on to part B.

Part B:
Aka - "the entire film".
This is actually where the film really begins, since worthwhile shit actually happens. We begin with Will smith going on a joyride to kill some vampire-zombies for killing his best friend. He mows a bunch of them down, gets really angry and then the dumb fuck rolls his jeep, trapping himself inside.
He's about to get eaten when a big bright light shines and scares the monsters off. Would you believe it, it's another survivor! Someone just HAPPENS to be in the right place at the right time. And somehow, manage to rescue him. And it turns out to be a woman. With a kid.
What?
Let me get this straight, EVERYONE is dead, Will Smith barely survives yet a woman and a kid manage to rescue HIS bony black arse IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?
They make a half-assed attempt at explaining where she came from, but no explanation is made as to how she escaped being eaten by the big scary zampires.
And then, 20mins before the end of the film, just in case you're hoping that there might be some good plot-twist at the end that might actually make it worth watching, she ruins it for every non-american retard out there by uttering these three words:

"God Told Me"

That's right, folks! This is yet another attempt by some retard to big up God and and put the fear of science in everyone. Science caused this whole big mess, the search for a cure for cancer caused the human race to nearly go extinct, but one puny white woman survives and she just happens to believe in God? Fuck me, I think I'm a believer now! Oh wait, I'm not, go fuck yourself.

Anyway, will smith gives us a glimmer of hope by shouting at her and claiming God doesn't exist, but 10mins later he caves in and hands her a sample of blood that has a cure in it, saying "I think this is why you're here". So by the end of the film, the only two adults we've met believe in God and believe he is guiding them to help fix the mess that science caused.
And the kid? What about the kid? I don't actually remember him saying a single word in the whole film and he reason for being there still perplexes me. He doesn't do anything at all and may as well not be there.

But back to the plot. In the book and original Charlton Heston film, the main protagonist pretty much goes around killing vombies for shits and giggles. But rather than just being horrible monsters, they actually form a genuine mentality and become a pack, with fully sentient thought. They even capture the main protagonist and put him on trial for killing so many of them. The idea is that the human is feared, he comes out during the day when they're sleeping and butchers them, HE'S the legend in much the same way that Vampires are legends to us. It's a genius plot twist and that's why the book is called "I am Legend".

But not the film. He's a legend because he created a cure for the disease. That's it. No depth, nothing to make you think, just...cure...you know, the thing that's been done in just about ever other film about a virulent disease.
No doubt anything else would be too much for your average retarded American to cope with, so they stuck with the safe bet and now I'm left wondering why they bothered to use the title of the book at all.

So in short, here's a bunch of reasons as to why "I am Legend" is shite:

1) It pisses all over the original book (ala I, Robot).
2) It bores the fuck out of you for half of it.
3) It's another excuse for Will Smith to get his shirt off and flex his muscles.
4) Of the 4 "main characters", one of them is a dog and the other is a kid that never speaks and has no reason being there.
5) Plot-holes galore.
6) It's another vehicle to cram Christianity down your throat and make you think Science is Evil.

And by far the most important reason of all -

7) Because I fucking say so.